Watch a few television commercials, especially for pharmaceuticals or automobile financing and you might see what is called mouse type. Technically that blurry blotch in 3 point type is called a legal disclaimer. Points are how type is measured: 72 points equal 1 inch. RoadDave is set in 14 pt. Times New Roman TrueType.
Lawyers and governments at various levels have mandated what might be called ‘semi-full disclosure’ of the whole story. For example, when it comes to automobile financing, there are too many variables to promise anyone who comes in the door will get the Zero percent financing. Legitimately, if you have really good credit, you’ll get the best rate, while your dirtbag neighbour who has gone bankrupt five times, living off his uncle’s fake disability pension, won’t get that most excellent rate.
If you have a half a brain you likely recognize that a 30 second commercial cannot tell you the whole story about a particular offer, especially one that sounds really good. Where the difficulty comes in is the ability for consumers to actually read and understand those nibbles of consumer disclosure.
The same holds true for pharmaceuticals: The FDA and Health Canada both mandate a type of disclosure for prescription medicine advertising. Depending on the meds and the type of advertising, the disclosure is as simple as ’…ask your doctor about Snotica…’ Others have a longer subset of the product monograph, the legal disclosure document regarding the medicine: “Snotica may cause headache, nausea, diarrhea, heartburn, itching eardrums, throbbing genitalia, runny eyes, spontaneous combustion, strokes, elevated cholesterol, thoughts of suicide, unsettling dreams, night sweats and death. Be careful driving until you know how Snotica affects you. You may drive more like a complete idiot on Snotica. Do not use heavy equipment, except graders or gravel compactors when you starting taking Snotica. Seeing flaming red dragons climbing up your leg with a knife in its’ teeth has been commonly reported by a small number of patients taking Snotica. Snotica can cause incontinence, insomnia, enhanced intuition and the ability to levitate involuntarily. Tell your doctor is you have uncontrollable urges regarding rough sex with penguins while on Snotica…”
Where the real problem is the tradeoff between the ability to actually fit all the type on the screen and not scaring the consumer half to death. Which is why mouse type is used. It keeps the legal beagles off your back as you have done at least a half-assed job of disclosing some of the pertinent details of the deal, but in a way that nobody can read it. Caveat Emptor.
Some categories of advertising, specifically cosmetics, have no real reason to disclose the whole story as they are not making medical claims. Most mascara commercials do have a miniscule disclaimer, “Filmed with lash inserts” that lasts about a second on the screen in the smallest possible type. Other than that, they can claim just about anything else this side of a medical benefit, including ‘You will get laid if you buy our makeup: Fabulously laid by a muscular, attractive, engaging, intelligent, internet millionaire who will take you away from your tedious life as an assistant associate customer service coordinator for a local aluminum siding installer, to live in his chateau in the south of France with a walk-in closet that will hold all the shoes you could possibly buy in three lifetimes.’
What we would really like to see is a simple disclaimer. It reads like thus: “This is not the whole story. Consult the dealer/manufacturer for full details. They could be shitting you just to take your money. Don’t be a sucker.”
Now, technically, this is implied by any advertising, but the legal monkeys and governments have done an incomplete job of illiterate, incomplete disclosure rules that semi-apply, sometimes, but not always, depending on the lawyers that are consulted by the ad agency, manufacturers, dealers and government regulatory agencies.
We’re voting for simplicity.
RoadDave 
Have you seen some of the newer commercials, especially for “beauty aids” (mascara, eye shadow, et al) where they use coloured type? You know, like medium brown on a light-to-medium brown background? There’s a vote for consumer confidence for you.
If you ever want a classic set of “this product may cause” symptoms, check out the Colbert Report on ComedyCentral.com. He occasionally advertises for “Prescott Pharmaceuticals”, a joke company he uses to lampoon the latest miracle drug. The side effects are HILARIOUS! Weird stuff like “mandibular liquification”. That scares the HECK outta me just hearing it! 😀
Oh, and before you hit the hay tonight, pop over to my buddy’s WordPress site at AFrankAngle. I think you’ll find the topic both familiar and enjoyable! 😉
Perhaps the best was the Hartmann-era SNL filmed ad for SuperFunBall.
The ones that really frost me are the “car stats” commercials, especially for the cars that cover a wide range in one model – for instance, the Mercedes C class. You can get a 4-cylinder engine that’ll get 32+ mpg, or you can get a 5.5-litre V-8 that makes 300+ HP. So the ad starts to run, and you “can buy a Mercedes C class, that gets more than 32 mpg, and with 300 HP, gets you 0-60 in 4 seconds.” Yeah. Well. The 4-pot gets you 32 mpg. but gets you to 60 in 10 or 11 seconds. Yes, the 5.5-litre V-8 will get you from 0-60 in 4 seconds – but ain’t no way in HECK you’re gonna see 16 mpg, much less 32. The car companies already produce multiple commercials per model – make one for the monster performance version and ignore the mileage, make the second that talks about 35 mpg and 800 mile ranges.
Gee, can ya tell this is a REAL pet peeve of mine?
Or you can just go European socialist, buy one of them VWs, Opels, or FIATs, and get a little bitty 1.4 litre that makes 150-180 HP! (Love the VW one – 180 hp AND 32 mpg. Now we just gotta get them to bring it on over! :D)