The year that was certainly lived up to the hype. It was. Not it was Good. Not it was Bad. It had some highs and some lows
Low: Adding top hat, junk shot and top kill to our language was the Deepwater Horizon explosion and oil spill that threatened to end life in the entire Gulf of Mexico. More than anything, the Deepwater Horizon shows us exactly how short the attention span of our media is. As long as they had video of the oil and dispersant spray from the ocean floor, they had a story that could run wall to wall. The well gets closed and suddenly the entire story ceases to exist.
As far as we can tell from our media, the Gulf is perfectly normal now. Nobody lost their livelihoods, no shrimp were harmed and there are no birds covered in goo being gently scrubbed with Dawn detergent.
High: Chilean miners. A tidy little story that wrapped in 40 hours or so, harkening back to the early days of CNN and the Jessica McClure Baby Down The Well story from 1987. At least this time the victims are old enough to do a proper press junket, even if they speak Chilean, so the PR fartcatchers can milk this for at least another years’ paydays.
Low: Lohan in the jug, then rehab. Anything Snooki. Taylor Momsen. Indistinguishable celebrities who have done nothing except appear on TMZ.com in a cell-phone video of them getting out of an SUV. We have fortunately been spared shots of Betty White going commando at a premiere.
High: Betty White. Come on, you watched the SNL with Betty and then Jay-Z and Mr. Hudson killing Young Forever. Even jaded bastards like me wanted to hold our Bic lighters high. Betty rocks and has rocked it since the 50’s in the early days of live television. That’s right, live television, without tape, without a net, without Autotune.
Low: Autotune. Without Autotune Taylor Swift would be one of the legions of Pennsylvania Bieber Fever teens in need of a day in the sun and a good meal. Without Autotune, half of the artists on the radio today would be shot at dawn for crimes against music. The other half simply have no idea how to cut it as a live performer. Bieber, to his credit, does.
High: Michael Buble. Now there’s a lad who probably ascribes to the Frank Sinatra mantra of give the customers their money’s worth and that he’s nothin’ but a barroom singer who got lucky.
Low: Vampires are not real. There are no shape shifting shirtless wonders coming to take you away from your mundane existence as a nail technician at a fourth-rate strip mall on the outskirts of a dreary Midwestern hub of unemployment and despair. Give it up.
High: The 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. Although I do not want to hear Nicki Yanofsky sing “I Believe” again. Ever. How many people in Calgary does it take to change a light bulb? Four, one to change the light bulb and three to say “We didn’t do it that way in ‘88”
Low: Haiti was a tragedy before the earthquake, then fell over into a pile. A few weeks ago, 45 locals were hacked to death by machete wielding crowds who were absolutely convinced that the cholera outbreak was the direct result of voodoo practitioners bringing the disease to the neighbourhoods. Odd how those in power don’t seem to have problems with cholera, water, electricity or food.
High: I’m still alive and I get to write some more.
Low: I’m still alive and I get to write some more.
Welcome to 2011.
RoadDave 
Hmm. Not sure if the good of you still being able to write outweighs the evil of you still being able to write. Then again, it must, ’cause we need SOMETHING to counter the evil of my being able to respond! 😀
You want a celebrity who can sing? Try Kylie Minogue. Half a person high, has survived breast cancer and a weasel of a boyfriend (who rode her fame during her cancer, THEN dumped her), can sing and dance like a lady half her age, and one of two good things to come out of Australia, the other being the Holden Monaro/Pontiac GTO. (OK, that’s my plug for the day!)
And may 2011 bring you all the things you deserve, not just those you want!
Doesn’ Canada have some dingy celebrities? Or do they export them all to the USA?
Tom, Canada gave us William Shatner. And as a lifelong Trekkie, as well as an occasional fan of TJ Hooker, may I say, from the bottom of my heart….
Good God, man, are they trying to KILL us?!?!?!? What the heck did we ever do to them to deserve THAT ?!?!?! 😀
OK, Shania Twain makes up for that, a LITTLE bit…….. 😉
We are also guilty of Jim Carrey, Celine Dion, Paul Anka and Pamela Anderson. For which we duly apologize.
However, in our defence, we did provide Dan Akroyd, James Doohan, John Candy and Neil Young. We would be remiss if we didn’t mention John Roberts, Glenn Gould, Peter Jennings and Lorne Greene.
Cheers!
David
Jim Carrey isn’t that bad, as long as he avoids drama. And a HUGE shame on me for forgetting Mr. Jennings. That forgives Shatner AND all the rest combined! Sorry, don’t mean to gush, but he got me interested in world news when all the Chicago stations convinced their viewers the world ended at the Fox River (local geography point, about 2/3 of the state’s width from Chicago). He made me the world info junkie I am today, and for that, I cannot thank Canada enough. Like I say, that even makes up for the walking egotistical hairpiece! (Hey, Pam Anderson ain’t that bad, as long as she stands in profile and keeps her mouth shut!) 😉
Am glad you mention Beiber and acknowledged that this kid has pipes. I am not a fan, but he does the job and does it well. Betty White was a definite high. Funny, funny lady.
We also gave them Michael J. Fox, Mike Myers (ok, so Love Guru stunk, but Wayne’s World and the Austin Powers films – pure gold), Leslie Neilson, Martin Short, Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis (c’mon, the McKenzie Brothers!), Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds…the list could go on 🙂
And Canada gave us all that great talent, while we dumped crappy Hollywood movies (many shot in Toronto or Vancouver) and rancid TV shows (again, many shot up North), not to mention the horrific examples of our “culture”. And Canada still saw fit to cover our butts in 2 world wars and numerous “peace-keeping” operations around the globe, all while keeping a sense of humour about their southern, hick cousins. And to this day, Americans have the … um … testicular fortitude to ask me “Did Canada have an army in WW2?”. That’s why I love those syrup-sucking jockey-addicted moose-petting “eh”-er heads! 😀