This might start some flame wars, but hey, vigorous discussion is a key to an actual life and this is especially true if the subject has nothing to do with international affairs, politics or religion.
Bagels. The doughy, savory, boiled, tasty baked good. History is foggy on where it came from, but we have had a handheld round-ish baked bread thing that your could stuff in your face as nourishment since 1610, which is historically the first mention. Bagels have a fearsome reputation, each region believeing theirs is the One, True and Only type of Bagel that should be allowed. We’ll do an inventory of the ones I have personally consumed with remarks as warranted.
The New York Bagel: Considered the Gold Standard by people who don’t know shit. I’ve had one, with lox, at Katz’ Deli. They’re good, but it is sort of like watching a Beach Boys Tribute band, but you’re not quite drunk enough. Sesame is the standard and it is fine. Nothing wrong with it, but the hole in the middle is smaller.
The Montreal Bagel: Specifically from St. Viateur Bagel which has kept the original recipe since 1957. It is a little bigger than the NY Bagel, a touch sweeter and has a bigger hole in the middle. The outer texture is crispy, as they are cooked in a wood-burning oven after a 30 second honey-water bath.
Toronto Bagel: It’s a deformed Kaiser Roll with a hole in the middle. Not worth the time to eat, let alone buy. If you have never had a bagel, you could do worse, but expect nothing more than Wonder Bread and all the flavour of the exterior packaging. Toronto Bagels also come in 147 different flavours to try and mask their stale, bland and dissapointing taste.
Ottawa Bagel: If a New York Bagel and a Montreal Bagel had an in-bred family member, this is where you land. Not quite as sweet as a Montreal bagel, hand-formed, with a larger hole than the NYC cousin, boiled, usually in a mix of honey water and lye to give you the chewy, well-coloured crust and then baked on long wooden planks in a wood-burning oven. That’s the ones you want.
Other countries and places have their favourites and styles, but they are but peasants, distant relatives and they owe you money that they will never repay. I include the Chicago style, St. Louis Style and even San Francisco style. We shudder at the possibilities. Mass-produced, machine-made and nationally distributed products exist. If that is what you prefer, then we question your self-esteem and wonder why you are punishing yourself. Show me on the doll where the bad man touched you?
What to have on a bagel? By themselves, fresh, hot from the oven, plain, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, or for a lark, the “Everything” bagel, which has onion powder, garlic powder, pepper and sometimes salt is completely appropriate. Toasted or not is a choice. Sliced or not is also a choice. A bagel sandwich is acceptable as well, smoked salmon, or lox, or egg salad is traditional. So is a half-pound of really, really good smoked meat or pastrami, also hand-sliced and steaming hot. Kale slaw? No, stop that nonsense.
Here’s one I had for lunch today: An Ottawa Bagel (Kettleman’s) toasted with butter, a side of real cheddar cheese with some crispy bacon and sweet bread and butter pickles. Uncomplicated, not kosher, carbs, protein, salt, sugar, sesame seeds. Eat with gusto and a side of good coffee. The credit for this goes to someone lost in time, but her name was Madeline L. Wherever she is, she introduced me to what we call the BBC. As in Bagels, Bacon and Cheese.
So now we ask, what is your favourite bagel, flavour, style and sides? Hit comments and away we go.
RoadDave 