Category Archives: Organizations

Deadlines and Diaper Donnie is Upset


Today is July 31st. On August 1st if Canada doesn’t do a deal with Diaper Donnie, he’ll put some horrible tariffs in place against Canadian goods being imported by Americans into America.

Ooooh, we’re shaking in our boots up here. This is somewhere around the fifth deadline this year from The American Pedo-In-Chief, all of which suddenly get extended, or don’t exist anymore. Last night The Grifter, Serial Bankrupt and Pussy Grabber was annoyed that Canada was willing to recognize Palestine as a state at the UN. So he said there wouldn’t be a deal and has also said that Canada is ‘nasty’ to deal with.

Canadians have heard all this crap before and we don’t take kindly to it. Canadians have retaliated with Elbows Up. Canada to US tourism has dropped by 40%, representing an estimated $12 Billion in lost revenue to the US. Grocery products in Canadian stores have slipped by one estimate, 18% of sales. Consumers actively go out of their way to, often, turning US products upside down on the shelves, or going outside to farm gate markets to buy local, Canadian products, or at least not American products, shopping other countries, like Mexico, Brazil, Costa Rica and so on.

Then there is the problems US producers are having: Tariffs imposed by Washington have caused Wal-Mart to raise prices on several hundred products that either are imported, or use imported materials in their manufacture. Ford and General Motors have both said their prices are going up anywhere from $2,000 to $6,000 per unit because parts that make up a vehicle cross borders all the time and the tariffs get applied all over the place.

A good example of Shit-For-Brains not knowing which hole to put it in, is Aluminum. The entire United States of America produces about 600,000 tons of aluminum every year. Cans, cars and aircraft, aside from foil for QAnon Tin Hats are all made with aluminum. Quebec by itself, produces 4,000,000 million tons a year and a lot of it is super-high purity aerospace grade aluminum. Go ask Lockheed where they get the metal for the F-35: It ain’t re-melted Pabst Blue Ribbon Cans.

Electricity is another irritant for The Beauty Pageant Inspector: Most of New York State, Ohio, Michigan and Illinois get their electricity from Quebec and Ontario. Oil? Canada exports about 4 Million Barrels a day to the US. The US can’t even refine their own “drill baby drill’ oil because it is high-sulfur fracking crude that the US doesn’t have refineries able to refine.

Which is why the media coverage of the mythical deadline of tomorrow for a ‘deal’ is a yawn up here. The EU cut a deal last week, which says nothing, is not binding, has no legal status and costs the EU nothing. The Japanese Trade Deal with Mushroom Dick is not even an Memorandum of Understanding, has no enforcement mechanism and does not send a half-billion dollars to the US, despite what he says. The same is true with the groundbreaking deals with Myanmar, Cote d’Ivorie, Ghana and Peru. In fact Ghana a fair-sized chocolate producer is raising their prices significantly for the product, so Hershey’s can go suck it and raise their prices.

It is all smoke and mirrors as the Orange Taint-Stain tries to distract from Epstein and from his failures on the home front. Like rebuilding with FEMA after floods and hurricanes have decimated the US housing construction industry. Masked men in ICE vests kidnapping citizens off the streets. Calling opponents scum (Gavin NewScum) or having his surrogates tell everyone that there is so much prosperity that they can’t even handle it, as well as the six wars that Bone Spurs has personally stopped. Except Ukraine, let’s not talk about that.

Really, it’s Thursday Afternoon. Canada does not care. Same Shit, Different Day and TACO Don won’t do jack. And if he does, well, #FAFO, which is Fuck Around and Find Out.

Will the Epstein List crush the Toddler-in-Chief?



The headline describes the essence of this post, so hang on as we do a quick review, then a prediction or two.

Short form here for the TLDR people. Jeffrey Epstein and his sidekick Ghislaine Maxwell spent many years as investors, model agents and social butterflies among the rich and powerful. There were significant rumours that Epstein and/or Maxwell or others in their employ trafficked very young women to various wealthy and connected people for them to fuck. Young, as in under the age of majority.

Epstein even had a private jet to ferry the girls and the guests to his private island in the Caribbean. Both were investigated and both were arrested for sex trafficking. Maxwell was convicted first and sentenced to 20 years in the crowbar hotel. Epstein was arrested and held in jail before his trial, as he was deemed a flight risk. Epstein died in custody under less than straightforward circumstances, August 10th 2019.

Since then, the US Department of Justice and the Federal Bureau of Investigation have held the evidence that convicted Ghislaine Maxwell and was going to be used to convict Jeffrey Epstein.  Which leads us to some obvious observations.

Why would Epstein and Maxwell traffic in young women? Answer, to curry favour with their clientele, rich, powerful (almost always) men. Since Epstein was at least on the surface an investment advisor, this could be construed as getting and keeping high-net-worth investors with “entertainment” and favours.

If these entertainments were in keeping with their own particular sexual practices, then so much the better. That the women were not always willing to consent to the arrangements speaks to the trafficking charges. There were several dozen women who testified to being sent on ‘dates’ or to ‘look after’ certain clients who were Epstein’s “friends” who could also help the young women with their ‘careers’ as models. Was there non-consensual sex involved? Yes, and the correct term is ‘rape’. Which is why Ghislaine Maxwell is in jail, the prosecution proved fully in court. It is also why Jeffrey Epstein was next on the docket.

Which means there is a paper trail, documents, notes, meetings, photos, video and the rest of the evidentiary chain. Is there a well-thumbed little black book with all the names, dates, times and physical interactions listed? Likely not, but there is enough corroborating evidence including emails, photos, videos, flight logs, witness statements and physical evidence to make it a slam-dunk.

Prosecutors don’t go forward with charges unless there is a smoking gun and they certainly do not go to trial, especially with high-profile suspects unless they have all the bases covered four times over. There is enough public domain images of Donald Trump with Jeffrey Epstein and various women to state with certainty that Diaper Don knew Epstein and was observed several times at parties with Epstein and several dozen women in entertainment venues. Even dimwitted observers could tell that most of the women were most likely under the age of 21, but were holding what would be commonly observed as alcoholic beverages and behaving in a more-than-friendly, if not flirtatious manner with Epstein, Trump and others. We’re talking about back in the 90’s here and of course up to the 2010’s or even later.

It got to the point where Maxwell had to organize others to procure for her, to introduce the women to Epstein and then on to Epstein’s friends. This means there is an extensive paper and testimonial trail.

Fast forward to Monday July 7 2025. US Attorney General Pam Bondi said there was no Epstein Client list.  Even after several video clips of her saying she has the Epstein files on her desk and was reviewing them before releasing them were brought forward and widely distributed.

Here’s where we get into that peculiar language of lawyer-ese. Is there a piece of paper in Jeffrey Epstein’s certified handwriting, headlined “My Client List of People I sent underage women to for sexual purposes” No. That is what Pam Bondi has said, there is no client list. All the other stuff that convicted Ghislaine Maxwell and was to be used to convict Jeffrey Epstein still exists, but unless you ask for a very specific title or piece of evidence, she can truthfully say there is no Epstein Client List.

If you were to ask, very specifically, for the flight logs for Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet currently registered as N550GP, a Gulfstream 550, or what was called the “Lolita Express” a privately owned 727, then you might get lucky. FAA rules are that the owner of the aircraft must keep these documents, essentially forever. As part of the flight logs (We flew from here to there) is the passenger manifest (And these are the folks that we flew in the aircraft).

Adding two plus two, if you were on a flight from the US to Epstein’s Caribbean island, the likelihood of you being involved in Bible Study, is mathematically insignificant. Not impossible, but highly unlikely.

So it’s not the Epstein Client List that we want: It is the rest of surrounding documentation. Catering bills, flight manifests, emails, voicemails, computer files, spreadsheets and the rest of the evidence that put Ghislaine Maxwell away and was lined up to put Jeffrey Epstein away.

That’s the real ask. Don’t let up on that because there is enough evidence to tie someone important to sex trafficking underage women. That is a line that even the most MAGA brain rotted wouldn’t stomach. Kiddy Diddler.

 

 

The Expected Shitshow


I was going to write about our vacation, but events external to us have moved up the list. Specifically the US under Diaper Donald, the Grifter in Chief, launching an airstrike on Iran and the political fallout that is following along as expected.

That the airstrike was well-orchestrated and carried out flawlessly is a given. The mechanics were excellent and as expected from professional US DoD planners, technicians and strategists. No argument with that, very well done. Did Diaper Don have anything to do with it, aside from saying “Go”? Highly unlikely, otherwise his Secretary of Defense, the DUI hire, Pete Hegseth would have told all his friends and the neighbours around Mar-A-Grifto about it. About all Donny did was point at the plans and selected the with one with the prettiest highlighter colour.

The reason he selected it are manifold.

Starters, media and politicians alike are demanding the long-promised release of the Epstein Files, where Donny’s name figures prominently.

Second: The Economy. Yes, it is cratering in the US because the tariffs are actually doing what tariffs do: Raise prices for the end-user consumer. A 50% tariff on steel means that the cost of a new car just bumped up by about $4000 by one estimate and that doesn’t include the cost bump on trucks, trailers, rail cars, kitchen hardware, electrical transmission towers, girders, steel roofs and so on. Manufacturers have refused to eat the higher prices, so they pass them on and often magically add another percentage for the paperwork and government paperwork submissions.

ICE Agents, with full face coverings and no visible identification kidnapping people off the street without a warrant, explanation, or even an polite howdy do. There is one clip circulating where a bystander was trying to take a picture of the ICE agent’s license plate. The Agent pulled his weapon and pointed it at the bystander and told him to back off or die. Another bystander caught the whole scene. There are significant rumours that many of the ICE agents are not even police officers, either local, state or federal regardless of department. Any sworn police officer has to have a warrant card and be able to produce it on request, or a visible badge number and name. These are not agents, they are paid thugs trying to help Stephen Miller get to 3,000 deportations a day, regardless of due process.

The term than comes to mind is Brownshirts (Nazi party thugs, circa 1933) or GESTAPO (Geheime Statz Polizi – Secret State Police) circa 1936.

Then there is the general cluster of morons cluttering up Washington DC, all barking for airtime and the benevolent tweet from the Grifter-in-Chief. By the way, the Trump Cell phone is yet another in the long line of grifts, starting with sneakers, loyalty cards, Citizenship fast-track grifts, watches, guitars and the rest. He learned from Trump Steaks, Vodka, University and Mattresses that licensing his shit means money in his pocket. Maybe he could help pay for E. Jean Carrol’s judgement against him and toss a couple of bucks to Rudi Giulliani. Just sayin…

Then there’s the two flagpoles at the White House, one of which is right in the flightpath of Marine One when it lands on the lawn. Or paving over the White House Rose Garden and not talking about the Qatari 747-800 that he asked for.

So many distractions, and the bombing in Iran is just a bigger distraction with nuclear implications and millions of potential deaths so the Toddler-in-Chief and his fart catchers can distract us from the parade float of everything else horrible that he’s done.

Sorry, but I don’t recall anyone else but Amerika being responsible for all this sewage. Perhaps someone should do something about it.

Daddy Elon and Daddy Donny are Divorcing (During Pride no less!)


If you’ve been following the latest shitstorm out of the US yesterday and today you will know that the MAGA Daddy Elon has said that the Big Beautiful Bill sucks a load of dick. It’s a fraud, a massive lie, will do nothing for Amerikans and will increase the debt by some huge number.

Meanwhile MAGA Daddy Donny has said that Elon was unliked by Cabinet and Barron. Stephen Miller disliked Elon ’cause Elon was shanking Miller’s wife, etc. etc.

Elon retaliated with Trump is all over the Epstein Files and Donny is afraid to release the files and be a documented pedo, as well as a convicted sexual abuser.

Does this not sum up the entire MAGA movement?

Two Daddy figures that everyone must obey, both men, neither particularly bright, or honest.

Two Daddy figures who inherited money and never did an honest days’ work with their hands.

Two Daddy figures who would steal, lie, cheat, fudge, shade, bribe and break any and all laws and then deny they did it, or deny that any of it applies to them, then sue the judge for daring to apply the laws to them.

Two Daddy figures with egos large enough to have separate area codes.

Two Daddy figures who have no vague idea how to maintain some kind of consensual relationship with a female of the species unless they transactionally pay for it, grab a handful of it, or bury the body on a golf course.

Two Daddy figures who have no spiritual aspect to their personalities; one cannot say what his favourite passage in the Bible is but professes bigly knowledge of said Bible

Two Daddy figures who are both grifters on a massive scale, primarily from taxpayer dollars, but also from their economically marginalized supporters.

And so on.

Let us examine the catfight from an independent lens.

MAGA fans worshiping two (!) Daddy figures. That sure sounds CIS gendered to me and isn’t that what MAGA wants? A traditional set of family values ( Note to WordPress, we need a sarcasm font) for the support of Amerikan Family Values! Um, two Daddys?

MAGA fans wanted honest governance to “Drain The Swamp”. They got one who lives and dies on the government subsidies for his EV car business, his space rocket business and his internet business. The other signed +200 Executive orders cutting core government programs, ignoring states’ pleas for disaster assistance and demanded several large law firms pony up millions in free work for him and possibly for the government, or they wouldn’t get ANY federal business, be blacklisted and booted out of every federal building.

MAGA wanted someone to make America Great, meaning respected, leading on the world stage and building wealth beyond measure. The G7 has invited the US to get fucked. Canada, the closest and best neighbour has Elbows Up as the ending of the national anthem, O Canada. Travel from Canada to the US has dropped by 49%, approximately 10 Billion dollars this year alone. The EU said #FAFO and Trump folded like a tissue paper tent in a rainstorm. China said the same thing and the tariffs went from 145% to 15% in a classic Art Of The Deal strategy. The strategy in Art Of The Deal is called “Wave your dick around like a bully then cry like a little bitch when we kick you in the balls and invite you to go fuck yourself”

Folks, Amerika is not Number 1, by any measure, except sheer stupidity. The rest of the world does not trust you, believe you, or even admire you a little bit. Amerika has become a laughing stock. Nobody wants your products or services, in fact many countries have countervailed duties making your stuff too expensive to buy and are encouraging local purveyors of the same stuff, Canada being a good example: Millions of shoppers putting “Made In Amerika” products back on the shelf, but upside down so we know not to touch them. They rot on the shelves and we send them back.

You were promised so much winning. You got two Daddy figures who are getting a nasty divorce, in Pride Month, which is tellingly ironic. They’re spitting on each other like snotty kids in Grade Three.

The rest of the world will welcome you back, personally and perhaps financially, after you get rid of those two Daddy figures. They are your problem.

A majority of you elected them. Amerika is better than this and smarter than this. Your Constitution has the needed provisions. You’ve shown the courage before and you are deep down still brave enough to do it again.

Yes, you got scared on 9/11, we all did, but we’ve sucked it up and so can you.

But YOU have to do it. And we’ll be here once you get it done, but until then, we’re moving on without you.

The Duffy Show–Budget Motivations


The Senator Mike Duffy trial continues, exposing more of the compost heap.  For those not fully apprised of the contents of the testimony so far, here’s a reasonable recap

If you’re too lazy this Saturday morning to click a link, this is the short form:  Duffy as a Senator gets a budget to about $150,000 a year for the office and research.  Like all Parliamentary budgets, it’s on the basis of use it or lose it, meaning come March 31 any money left gets pulled and you start April 1 with a new pile of money for the office and research.  So if you’ve had a lazy year and spent most of it making puppies, there is this budget number that seems to demand you spend it. 

In the simplest of fiddles, you order a bunch of stuff and make sure the invoices all say March 31.  The budget used up, everyone goes on their merry way and some buddies get cash for oh, communications consulting? 

Having been on the vendor side more than a few times, we used to call it March Madness.  There were stories about companies that would ship boxes of phone books or bare chassis computers to the client that would arrive, be received and the appropriate weight duly entered into the books.  Since it was on the government shipping dock by March 31, it was deemed delivered, the invoice duly paid and as long as nobody looked to hard, life went on.  Speechwriting and research contracts?  As long as someone in the office said they got the document, the invoice was paid.  Long after March 31 would some kind of actual item truly arrive, but as long as there was something in their hands by March 31, the appropriate dollars were allocated from the appropriate year’s budget.

This speaks to exactly how people are motivated by budgets.  If you don’t use what was allocated to you by intelligent, sensible mandarins who know better than you ever will, then you obviously don’t know your job, so they reduce your budget the next year, usually by the amount you didn’t spend the year previously.  (/sarcasm on) After all, the wise and brilliant above you would never over-estimate what was needed, as they are intelligent, skilled, diligent guardians of the public purse, who have their fingers on the pulse of all public spending, with extensive systems, checks, balances and audit reports from consultants that back up every dollar allocated. (/sarcasm off)

Or, if you’re in the Senate, you take the unused portion of your budget and write up a contract to your buddy for a report called “The Age Wave” and have it paid for through another company, say Maple Ridge Media or Ottawa ICF, who got the lion’s share of the budget and also probably charges a fee to the Senator for ‘editorial services’ or ‘contract management’, takes their percentage over and above, then strokes you a cheque, not from the Senate, but from a private company. 

On the Hill, this is perfectly normal.  In private industry, this is called a ‘fuzz job’ as the source of the money and the reason for the money being spent is made as fuzzy as possible, preferably through several layers of companies.  Or, you could call it money laundering, but that has such a distasteful connotation doesn’t it? 

Which is why Duffy’s fitness trainer, Mike Croskery was on the stand in Ottawa last week.

Now, we do know some of the players in this game.  Gerry Donohue used to be the NABET (National Association of Broadcast Employees and Technicians) regional union rep at a joint called CJOH-TV.  He was the lead negotiator on the NABET contract and in the late 80’s/early 90’s just a negotiations were starting up, was amazingly and remarkably hired by the company to be their Human Resources guy.  So you had the situation of the previous union rep sitting across the table, as the company rep, during a contract negotiation. 

If this strikes you as a conflict of interest, then you don’t know Gerry Donohue. 

Needless to say CJOH-TV no longer exists, having been absorbed into Bell Media, gutted, populated with interns and turned into a low-rent cable access channel with tower space on the array at Camp Fortune.  Duffy used to work out of CJOH-TV back in the day and that’s most likely how he met Donohue.

Which is also why this trial for Expense Fraud and General Assholery is so much fun to watch. 

Duffy is being hung out to dry because there is no real expense oversight in the Senate.  As long as you don’t try to put your Miniature Weimaraner on the payroll, everything else, is fine. 

The rot starts at the budget office, with the negative implications of actually saving the taxpayers some money off the various budgets.  To turn it upside down and make saving budget a positive incentive, herewith our solution.

If you as a budget manager use smart thinking, creative use of suppliers, shrewd negotiations in keeping with the general Federal guidelines, act fairly and ethically, and manage to come in under budget, you personally get a cash bonus of 2% of the savings to divy up with your team.  The job still gets done, the things get procured under the usual standards and if you can save money, there is no implied penalty of having your budget slashed the next year. 

Budgets change every year, so if one year you didn’t need $100,000 worth of infrastructure improvements that were budgeted for and managed to safely stretch, maintain or otherwise do with what you had, instead of burning money because you could, you’d get a taste.  If the next year, you really needed to spend $150,000 to keep up, then no problem.  Over time, the government would come out ahead, spending when it needed to spend, based on the judgment of those who actually do the job, not on the uninformed esoteric guesstimates of bureaucrats and their consultants in their isolated silos of self-importance and business card title dick measuring. 

Duffy, having been duly briefed by the Senate Budget Office, as to what he can and cannot claim, does what any punk would do, looks for the loopholes.  He goes looking for the very specifics that say You cannot do X.  As soon as you see that they specify X, but not Y, bill for Y.  Which explains why Gerry Donohue became the defacto Royal Canadian Bank of Duffy to hide expenses under the general catchall of ‘communications and research’.

A good auditor, knowing that the Senate is populated by fart-catchers and bagmen for the party should be on high alert for exactly those kinds of fiddles, that in their former lives, the good Senators did as a matter of course, with no more moral baggage of ‘doing wrong’ than loading up on bacon at the breakfast buffet.

The wise betting line is that the Right Honourable Stephen (Call me Stephen) Harper will let this show trial play out, as a sterling example of how totally screwed the Senate is, and fortuitously add a plank to his fall campaign to remove the Senate, using Duffy as the poster child for what is wrong with the Senate and why it should be s-canned.

With any luck, it will distract the public from the real mess, Bill C-51 or the Ministry of Finance’s three-card montie trick of a balanced budget by deferring all spending to 2017.

Charleston and Duffy


We’ve got a bit of a two-fer today, as both events are causing us great vexation. 

First off Walter Scott being gunned down in North Charleston, SC.  If you haven’t seen the video of Walter Scott being shot by a police officer, here it is.  Aside from the obvious attempt of the officer to plant something and the fact they officer was charged not with manslaughter, or self-defense, but straight up murder, and the racial stink that permeates the whole thing, there is one more vexatious point:  How can a trained police officer fire eight rounds at a target moving away from him at no more than 30 feet and only hit the target once?  Where did the other seven rounds go?  The Projectile Fairy didn’t capture them and put them under the officer’s pillow that night, of that we’re fairly certain. 

Which tells me the North Charleston Police couldn’t train a goose to shit, let alone teach their officers how to use the spectrum of force and when to increase the amount of force used with a subject.  That’s Policing 101, usually about Day 2 of rookie orientation.  For those who don’t know about the spectrum of force, here’s a good discussion

From our perspective as a citizen it’s simple enough to follow.  Simple presence of the uniformed officer, a commanding voice and attitude, hand control, active restraint, or baton, then chemical (OC spray, or Mace) electrical discharge weapons like a Taser or a Beanbag Shotgun, then the firearm.  Notice the escalation, from simple, loud, commands (“Stay in your car and drop the keys out the window”) to pulling the sidearm and everything in between.

There are exceptions of course, based on the situation.  If you pull over a guy and he gets out of the car with a shotgun and brings it up, you tell them drop the weapon and get your firearm ready to go, as the suspect has escalated things (Suspects don’t necessarily care about escalation of force protocols) and you have to react appropriately, immediately.  We’ve got no problem with that, at all. 

The Walter Scott shooting is another thing.  That went from an out of shape 50 year old with no obvious weapon or threat to the officer, running away, to an officer planting evidence after firing a clip at the suspect.  Had it played out sensibly, the officer would have got back in his car and followed Walter Scott for another 200 yards until he ran out of run and collapsed on his own.  Cuffs, backup, done with minimal paperwork and less fuss. 

Was Walter Scott in fear for his life?  We don’t know, but the dashcam footage showed a reasonable traffic stop and a compliant citizen who panicked in front of a cop with less experience with spectrum of force than my dog.  At least the dog has the smarts to back off when the cats give that low, rumbling hiss that translates across species into “Eff Off!”  We would also strongly recommend that every officer in North Charleston go back to the range and prove they can actually hit targets, center of mass at 10, 20, and 50 feet.  We don’t need idiots sending rounds all over the neighbourhood because they can’t shoot straight and that includes the police.

Senator Mike Duffy’s trial for Expense Fraud and charges of General Assholery is in its first week.  Up here our Federal Senate is populated by appointment of the Prime Minister.  It’s a reward for being a fart-catcher with rules that are looser than Amish sphincters after a binge-eat at the All You Can Eat Burrito Bar at Applebee’s.  Hiring a convicted serial rapist as your personal assistant is considered bad form, but that’s about it.  The caveat with this kind of demented-emperor oversight is that you say good things about the government and every program they bring forward is simply wonderful for all Canadians. 

Did Duffy go jowls-deep in the feed trough?  Sure he did; all the Conservative appointees do, just like all the Liberal appointees did when the Liberals were in power.  Up to the elbow in free trips, expense fiddles, hiring cousins with no work experience, or the easy fiddles of simply not showing up for work for two years at a stretch, but someone managing to cash the paycheque from your cushy digs in Mexico.  No committee work, no endless bladder-crippling meetings, no Question Period, nothing more exhausting than flying to Vancouver to do a 20 minute speech about how a government program is simply wonderful, words pre-written by the PMO and delivered with the standard half-hearted enthusiasm of a long-time party hack who has been phoning it in since 1988.  Then there is the crippling stress of having your assistant file the expense claims, which can only be relieved by flying to a foreign climate to rest and recuperate, on the taxpayer’s dime.

To be frank, our Senate is a joke beyond redemption that costs us millions of dollars every year for the members of the chamber of Sober Second Thought to roll around in the trough.  We get more value for money from the Dominion Carillonneur when she plays K’naan’s Wavin’ Flag on the Parliament Hill bells.  At least you can walk by the Hill and go, “What the heck is that song, holy crap, it’s that World Cup thing!  Kewl!”

With luck the Duffy Show will play out as expected just before our upcoming Federal Election in October.  The Harper Government will be painted accurately as mean-spirited micromanaging bullies.  Then the voting citizens will be confronted with a choice of None Of The Above on our ballots.

 

 

                   

Mason Baveux Goes Oly


We turn the blog over to our pinch hitter Mason Baveux for his, um, unique take, on the Olympics in Sochi.  Mason?

Thanks for bloggery Davey as you know I watch er close enough for four people, let alone just meself.

The Openin Ceremonials were what I’d expect from a country what was Commie for so long.  It looks like they sold off the producin rights to the drug-addled dope heads what did the French Winter Olys in 1992 in Albertville.  There was dancers flyin all over the place while they shot pictures down on the arena floor and then reenacted the Battle of Kursk with flyin rigs and no tanks.  Plus they left out the bit about Stalin killin about a third of the population when he woke up from a four-day vodka toot.  Not all of us are as forgetful as that, doncha know. Citius, Altius, What the Fookius?

As for Sochi, there were enough stories about rooms without doors, or taps that dispensed hot and cold sewage that I don’t need to bring that back up.  Oh and the shots of the main drag in Sochi havin friggin palm trees for chrissakes.  Jesus Mary and Gord, do those dough-heads at the IOC not check an atlas before they give up the rights?  It seems they got snow alright, if you consider ground up ice that’s sloppier than the ex-wife’s twat to be real snow-snow.  Crap lads, hold the Winter Olys somewheres they have Winter.  Should maybe write that down as Rule #1. 

I was all wound up to report on the Snowstyle Skiing what it is a new Oly sport, when I come down with a case of of the flu what caused me to be on my arse for near close a week.  They fed me full of over the counter cold medicine that when mixed up with the rum I was takin for medicinal purposes caused a couple of issues.  I think Canada won some Gold Medals there, but all I could see was some girls and a couple of guys fallin down a hill arse over teakettle on skis, what then get a score.  Seems you get the high score if you don’t actually die.  I think I missed some in there from the medicine, so’s it not the whole story. 

I want to take a moment here and talk about the Gay Right thing what was all in the papers before the Sochi Games.  It’s like CCM or Bauer for skates.  Some like the Taks, other like the Bauers.  I’m a CCM guy, so don’t be wavin your Bauer’s at me.  And don’t come round with some raggedly ass Nike skates.  There just wrong and then there’s Wrong with a capital letter.  I’m from the old school of what you do in private is up to you.  If you like this or that equipment, that’s your choice and as long as you’re not offerin something I don’t want and are willin to accept a polite “Eff Off” then I got no issue. 

When the Russian government and Vladimir Putin gets up on the back legs about the gays not bein gayish in Sochi, then maybe they should look at some of the sports, like two-man luge, ice dancin or Bobsleddin then think for another eleven seconds afore openin your borscht hole.  Don’t be a bad host or a bad guest, but if your host is offerin you a roasted goat ballsack covered in chocolate sprinkles, you can just say no, politely and wait for the Chex Party Mix to come by again.  A good guest don’t do nothin to offend and the host don’t offer somethin that’s goin to make people angry.  A bit of give and take, is all I’m sayin.    

Fancy Skatin:  Patty Chan did a fine job today, nailin a Silver in the Fancy Skatin and that Japanese 19 year old kid is goin to be a killer come 2018 wherever the hell they’re hostin next.  I was confused, or mebbe I didn’t hear right, but one of the Oly commentators said Patrick Chan had a chink in his armour.  I didn’t near but laugh my rum across the room in a spit take that Sid Caesar woul’d laughed at and now he’s dead, don’t you know.

Girl’s Ski Jumpin:  Holy Fook me!  I’m for it.

Cross-Country:  Mother of Pearl those folks are fit.  I’d like to see them change up the biathalon though.  Two loops, one clockwise, one counter, but they meet in the middle where the gun range is.  No targets, except your competitors across the way.  I think that’d change it up a bit and harken back to the early days of WWII when Finland took on the Russkies and damn near beat their asses.

Tag Team Luge:  This’ere a new one, but I think they missed the boat.  They should start side by side and be allowed to duke it out on the way down.  Sort of like the bike pursuit in the Summer Olys.  One chasin, and one runnin away from the other, but we’d have to say no to the spikes in the gloves.

Canada’s gettin’er done over there.  And I’s back to the Benlyn with the Codeine and the Captain Morgan chaser.  Later.

Ramping Up for the Olympics


The Winter Olympics are coming soon to Sochi, Russia and like all Good Canadians, we are waiting with baited breath.  That is a bald-faced lie of course, we do not give a red-circled damn about the Olympics.

Our man on the Olympic Games, Mason Baveux, has recovered from his recent bout of what he calls the “shakey-jakes” from industrial-grade drinking over the holiday season.  Unfortunately he got bronchitis from his nephew “The Arsehole” who came to visit and Mason had to stand a two week course of codeine-based cough syrup consumption to keep his lungs in his body.  We suspect the combination of Benyln and Blue contributed to the shakey-jakes, but Mason assures us he is in fighting trim to cover the Olympics for us:

Ise been watchin the tube in this here ramp up to the Olys Davey, just so you know and Ise ready to give’er, you know, with them sporty commentatin insights.  Looks like we’re about as ready as we’ll ever be.

We await the opening ceremonies with a mixture of fear and sleeplessness and for Mason’s first missive.

Winifred Elizabeth


We have a number of companion animals in our nuclear unit here in the Great White North.  There are four cats, Bella, Charlie, Gus, and Tommy, all rescues from either the Humane Society or privately. 

Previous incumbents have included a Black Lab, Ebo, Ralph the Collie/Hound cross and Joseph Arthur Lonley our first cat of nearly twenty years standing.  Ebo, Ralph and Joey are still here, their ashes in three urns on the bookcase, keeping watch over us.  They’re marked as Present, but not Attending.

A little while ago we added to this mix:  Winifred Elizabeth, came to live here. 

Winnie had a rough start, being the punching bag for an abusive couple who split up, then after a few moves wound up essentially living only in the kitchen of her previous ‘caregivers’, full time.

Through some connections, we met Winnie and arranged for her to stay where she could be cared for properly and made part of our family.  Winnie, of course, accepted.

The first few days with the cats were, to be generous, chaotic.  Winnie didn’t know what cats were and tried to play with them like she would play with another 60 pound, 15-month old puppy: Vigorously, with much leaping, bounding and ear-splitting barks. 

The cats were of one voice; “What the fcuk is THAT!” as they scurried under beds, or up onto cupboards as high off the floor as possible, hissing and cussing imprecations of a fearsome nature.  We were told a few times to “Take THAT THING out of OUR house and drown it in the river NOW!” the chorus usually led by Bella, our 10 year old Queen of the Manor.  We are constantly amazed that four of the gentlest, most loving cats can turn so nasty with such rapidity.  However, this is evolving.

Winnie is learning her manners and commands, like sit, stay, down and heel, as well as to use the nearby park for waste elimination, instead of the hallway carpet.  Being a rescue, she does have a few issues, like a distrust of males, loud noises and a higher level of timidity than one would expect, but she is starting to relax, learn and adapt. 

The cats are adapting in their own way, letting Winnie walk by them on the floor without cussing under their breath or offering to open Winnie a new orifice or two.  We are not finding the cats rummaging through the knife drawer for my 14” Sabatier chef’s knife (“Gus, help me pick this thing up, it’s too heavy for me.  Goddammit, we haven’t got opposable thumbs!”).  They have managed to go nose to nose often with Winnie, without a trip to the vet for suturing up Winnie’s snout.  Several meals have been taken as a group, without the cats going after her kibble, or Winnie going after their soft food. 

More recently, there has been some sharing of the bed, with one or two cats, Winnie, then finally the two humans taking up the last remaining square millimeter of covers that the animals have deigned to let us have.  Cat and Dog owners understand this situation, as the Laws of Cat Physics require a 10 pound cat to barely fit on twenty-five square feet of bed.     

Winnie has met many of the other neighbourhood dogs that congregate in the park a few doors down our street.  The roll call includes: Winston, Moose, Lucky, Sally, Jake, Maggie and perhaps a dozen other unnamed dogs.  They have taught Winnie that chase-me-chase-me is fun and so is dodge-human.  Dodge-Human, or Bipedal Bowling involves several big, fast, strong, athletic dogs running straight at the bipedals and veering off at the last moment.  Most of the time.    

We’re not all the way there yet, but we will soon see a sofa full of ears, snouts, butts, legs and tails, all snoozing together, all perfectly comfortable with each other and with us.

Welcome to your Forever Home, Winifred Elizabeth.  We’re glad you are here. 

Also an Unusual but Urgent Request


A few of us who blog on a semi-regular basis come together with the same objective from time to time.  The Windy City Wonder and I have corresponded for couple of years now and he’s a frequent commentator on RoadDave.  He’s posted a bit on his page regarding the situation in the Philippines and the urgent need for aid in the wake of Typhoon Haiyan.

Marylou has several dozen friends in the Philippines from her job in the call-center business and has been to places like Bacolod and Cebu many times.  Her colleagues are all safe so far, but many have families or relatives in Tacloban, the hardest hit area from the typhoon.  Tacloban has basically been wiped off the map. 

When these kinds of disasters go down what is needed is money.  Not that the Red Cross is going from area to area handing out pesos, but so that the Red Cross can use their emergency supplies that are pre-staged now, then use your donations to replenish their inventory for the next disaster, wherever and whenever that might be.

The Red Cross is the preeminent disaster relief organization world-wide.  The Canadian Red Cross, here, needs your donation for Typhoon Haiyan relief now.  The Canadian government will match you dollar for dollar, so if all you can spare is $2, then the government will match your deuce, with another one.

I don’t do charitable outreach here, except in exceptional circumstances.  This is one where your money can double and be put to urgent use now. 

I’m asking you to donate if you can.  I’m also asking you to repost, or link to this or Jon’s posting, to spread the word. 

Thank you.