Deity help us, we’re going to let Mason wrap up the Olympics. Forgive me now.
Thanks lad fer lettin me wrap up seventeen days of Canada bein the focus of the worlds’ media for hostin the Olys.
Fer those of you readin, what are overseas or down in the States, didja notice we don’t live in igloos? Next time you’re up our way in the summer, don’t be askin to see the National Igloo, as she’s melted, like it does every year. We cut out a new one every December just in time for Christmas.
Didja notice we don’t eat seal meat four times a day? Oh and for the PETA folks what are opposed to the seal hunt, I’m wearin baby seal fur gitch right now, just like every other Canadian, so eff off.
Did ya see John Mongomery, our Luger Gold medalist walkin thru Whistler and somebody hands him a pitcher of draft beer? You know what he did? He takes a couple of big swigs and hands it back to the gal. We share up here in Canada and we don’t worry about wipin’ off the rim of the jug as we know we can trust the other guy.
Didya notice we’re not always up to our arses in snow for 10 months of the year? It was balmy, even for Vancouver and we just dodged the bullet choppering in snow for Cypress mountain. Sometimes the weather don’t cooperate, but we’re Canadian and we figure out a way to make it work anyways. That’s a Canadian thing in what we’re kinda good at figurin it out, even if its never been done before.
Didja see the way our folks applauded for the Yanks in the skiing, the hockey and the skating? We don’t mind other folks winnin and we think that just being at the Olys is damn fine too. Even if you come 47th, the fact you made’er as a competitor is just super by us.
Didja notice there wasn’t no bitchin about the officiating or the facilities? We had some bumps, sure, but it wasn’t like other Olys where you couldn’t get near the venues, or the athletes even with your tickets like at Salt Lake City or Atlanta?
Didja notice all them blue and green coats? Those were the Oly volunteers almost all of them Canadians who did it for free, from across Canada who were there to help the athletes, or to rescue an upsidedown bobsledder from gettin in further trouble.
Didja notice the Mounties in the Red Serge uniforms at the flag ceremonies? I’ll tell you right now, they don’t wear that every day. 364 days a year they look like regular cops. Full dress reds is for special occasions only, like hoistin the winners flags at the Olys.
You might not have seen us do it, but we made sure to interview the other folks at the Olys. Our television and radio coverage also included the lad from Ghana in the slalom and the Jamaican bobsledders too. That’s a Canadian thing, in that we got lots of room for everyone and you’re all welcome to drop by for a pint. I watched a bit of the American coverage and you couldn’t tell there were fifty or so other countries at the Olys.
There was a couple of things what surprised me some. Our anthem, O Canada, what we normally mumble, got sung out loud and proud more than once and not just at the medal ceremonies either. Then there was Joannie Rochette skatin to a Bronze a couple of days after her Mother passed. That is what you would call real grit.
Didja notice the closing ceremonials? We were pullin your leg for about four fifths of’er, so’s don’t take’er so serious. We don’t have forty foot beavers roamin’ the streets downtown anymore. Honest. As for the table hockey players, the good ones don’t use the Bryclream as much. They look more like Sid the Kid.
When the Sochi Russkies came out, I did have me a question. Are all the athletes going to be in bubble wrap? That’ll make the luge safer, but she’s goin to be slow lads. Real slow. And you won’t hear no bodychecks into the boards at the hockey finals if they’re all wrapped up in bubble pack. I kinda think they was pullin our legs, I hope.
By the way, you know it’s springtime. Timmy’s doing Roll Up the Rim to Win.
So that was the Olys. Welcome to Canada and come back soon. We had a good time havin you here. Safe home eh?
RoadDave 