Dear American Cousins: If you noticed yesterday morning that things felt different, trust me, that’s a good thing. You finally got rid of a couple of hundred years of guilt off your shoulders by selecting Barack Obama as President. That’s what is probably making you feel a little light-headed right now. You’ll be fine.
However there are things that are on the event horizon for your country to accomplish in the next while. With your kind permission, may I suggest a few things that are worthy of your attention? Thank you.
1: Take ownership of your Constitution. Rumour has it, The U.S. Constitution is the basis and the yardstick against which you measure your law. As best I can tell, by reading it, there’s a few things in there about inalienable rights, government staying the hell out your lives and the separation of Church and State. Perhaps it is time for a re-read.
Believe it or not, the U.S. Constitution is kept in Washington, D.C. and can be viewed by regular folks, just like you: You don’t have to get permission from Homeland Security to see it. Some schools even teach it to the kids, despite No Child Left Behind. It isn’t hidden away in the back and, although imperfect, is a good place to start. I’ve even seen it and I’m Canadian.
A bunch of old white guys wrote the entire mechanism for the whole United States in 1787. It took them four pages to lay out the entire US on paper, so it isn’t like it is a particularly long or complicated read. Perhaps all of the existing and most of the new laws that get passed should be kept down to three or four pages. That keeps laws simple and easy for regular folks to understand.
You can, at least according to your Constitution, change things up a bit, but there are rules about how to do it and the rules were set to be strict, to prevent loons and crazies from taking over.
The Constitution doesn’t mention things like e-mail, or selling off government services to Haliburton because Bush, Cheney and Rove said so, but the broad strokes are there. Odds are you could get the Supreme Court to rule, instead of changing the Constitution, but be aware you can change it.
2: Reach out. I mean this in a difficult way. There is a percentage of your population who are very bitter and twisted about the results of the election. You’re going to have to reach out and remind them that they are Americans, which means they have to be tolerant of other points of view. They can protest, bitch and whine, but they also have to be respectful.
You can show them how to do it by listening to their point of view, agreeing where you can, and agreeing to disagree where you can’t. It’s called Teaching by Example.
Unfortunately most of the bitter and twisted learned by a negative example, so you have an uphill climb here to undo eight years of Bush, Cheney and Rove wiping their feet on your Constitution. Sorry. I never said this was going to be easy.
3: Hold yourself to a higher standard. This is aimed at the folks coming to Washington. That means no lobbyist money, or PAC money, or influence peddling. Have a witness or two with you, or offer to record the meeting. Influence peddlers don’t like to have anything they say written down or recorded. It covers your ass and puts the lobbyists on the defensive.
If a lobbyist tries to put the arm on you, tell a reporter or two exactly what happened and make sure the lobbyist gets his or her ass caught in the blades eight ways to sunrise. Lobbyists are not your friends no matter how nice they seem.
Oh and for the newcomers to Washington? Don’t try to hump the staff, Congressional pages, or troll in public washrooms. Learn from the Republicans on this one and keep it stowed.
4: Hope, which is what the election was about, is a very fragile thing. Most folks I’ve talked to are rational enough to know that there will be tough decisions ahead. As long as it is fair and for a greater good that they understand, then they’ll buy into it. Grudgingly, but they’ll go along.
One that comes to mind is your $10 Trillion dollar deficit which was brought to you by Bush, Cheney and Rove. Someone has to pay for it and since the American people voted for them in 2004, it’s going to be the American people who pay for it in 2009. And 2010. And 2011.
Remind your fellow citizens that since they let Bush, Cheney and Rove do whatever the hell they wanted, someone has to clean up. It isn’t your shit to apologize for, but it is your shit to clean up. Place the blame where it resides: Bush, Cheney, Rove. Frankly, if you could drag that troika into court somewhere a lot of Americans would be happy.
5: Remember that the whole election was about change. Change doesn’t happen as fast as you want it to. Be patient. Washington is a complete and utter mess and that will take some time to fix.
It will take some wisdom to decide if it’s a coat of paint or a sledge hammer that is needed. The SEC comes to mind here, along with the FDA. Those two agencies are supposed to be looking out for the common good of all citizens, enforcing the rules fairly. If those two agencies were businesses, they’d have a very bad fire before someone looked too closely at the books.
6: This one’s for Barack Obama specifically: Keep reading newspapers, watching TV and listening to the radio. If your advisors keep telling you it’s sunny outside, look for yourself. If it’s raining, then something is wrong. Never be afraid to get out of the car and ask the folks. President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy happily lived in a Cheney-Rove contrived plastic bubble of euphoria and see where that got the country?
Try to keep Condi Rice and Colin Powell around. They’re good folks with good experience and good judgement. David Paulson from FEMA seems to be smart too.
The rest of them? Well, I won’t suggest you should have a large mediaeval catapult set up in the Rose Garden to fling people over the White House to land on the concrete out past the front lawn: That would be needlessly violent and messy, but would bring a new meaning to the phrase ‘rapid outplacement’.
However, firing the miscreants and taking away their golden parachutes comes to mind. You could always have the US Marshall Service show up with a "No-Knock" warrant at 3 am then drag them to jail in leg irons and an orange jumpsuit. I’d watch that on Pay Per View at $40 a show, as it would be better than WWE, even at 3 am. Use the proceeds to pay down the deficit.
Essentially, Barack, you’re going to have to be part Mahatma Gandhi and part Vlad The Impaler for the first few months. Do so wisely please.
That’s all she wrote my American cousins. It will take time and there will be mistakes, but I think you picked the right one this time.
To paraphrase the man: Yes You Can.
Cheers!
David
RoadDave 