More details about the Bailout The Base Bill are coming to light. This afternoon Barack Obama and John McCain joined some other folks with President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy, Shotgun Dick, Henry the FrankenFinancier and a couple of other punks for a glass of Dr. Pepper and a chat around the big table.
Not long after 4 pm DC time, Johnny Mac and his folks left: McCain had a sudden urge to go buy a comb. Seconds later, Barack Obama needed to pick up his dry cleaning. The bipartisan deal that President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy was preaching the night before, was nothing more than a strong arm job by the Decider Who Makes the Deciding Decisions.
It turns out that the someone in that room wouldn’t go along with the salary caps on executive compensation, or Henry Paulson’s demand for utmost secrecy without oversight, the blank check secrecy provision.
It also came to light that the $700 Billion dollar number was pulled out of someone’s ass. Odds are it was Ben Bernanke’s ass. As to how it got there, is another story involving Unnatural Acts and the Undisclosed Location, but we digress. $700 Billion was pulled out of thin air to be a Big Number to make the Bailout The Base Bill more impressive and fearful.
That Big Number, run through the Idiot Boy’s posturing over the last few days and last night was supposed to create deep seated Main Street Fear, just like the setup on the War in Iraq,(“Saddam Hussein has WMDs and He’s going to attack the Wal-Mart in Cooksville Tennessee on Thursday if we don’t invade now”).
So far, the Senate and the Congress are not buying the story. Average Americans are looking at the scam and getting truly pissed. Perhaps even, dare we say it, outraged? Under the glare of something that is rare in DC, called scrutiny, the Bailout The Base Bill is turning out to be Serious but not the National Emergency that President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy is making it out to be.
The downside though, is that President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy could turn around and look at the stock market as a rationale. Wall Street, being Wall Street and regulated by a fluffy kitten on Valium, can make their day to day results go up and down like a toilet seat in a mixed gender bathroom during a Harvard Skulls keg party.
If the Wall Street Masters of the Universe decide to make Wall Street tank over the next two or three days, then The Idiot Boy might just force the Bailout The Base Bill through, Senate and Congress be dammed. (“Ya’ll see what happened when we didn’t do no Deciding, so I’m the President who Decides the Deciding and we’re givin’ em $800 Billion”)
There are a few things the Bailout The Base Bill must have. So here’s my version:
Wall Street? If you want a suck at the Taxpayer Teat, here’s the deal: You’re getting a maximum of $200 Billion in government financing to unscrew yourselves. There isn’t any more money to be had and this $200 Large has some very big strings attached:
String 1: Executive Compensation of any form for any VP or C-level officer, for any company that takes advantage of the de-vestment toilet will be limited to $150,000 a year for the next two years. No more Gulfstream 5 executive jets, palatial homes and stock bonuses bigger than the GDP of Holland. If you don’t like it, then piss off and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. Your kind is replaceable. If you’re that shit-hot, then you can weather a two-year cut back.
String 2: Your new partner is the United State Government, representing the Taxpayers who are footing this bill. We own 49% for the next two years. We’re setting up a new Government Agency of grumpy, mistrustful and pissy bureaucrats who will be sitting in 49% of the new Board of Director chairs. If your company is as shit-hot as you say it is, then you can handle two years of very close scrutiny.
String 3: You’re going to be paying 4% interest on the money we let you de-invest and we want it back, with interest, over two years, otherwise you lose your company to the Government. And you stock and your jets and your houses and your Master of the Universe decoder ring.
String 4: In exchange for you taking advantage of this $200 Billion dollar bailout, we agree not to have your miserable butt dragged into Federal Court. The Get Out of Jail card only lasts two years. If you clean up your shit, we might make it longer. Screw us and we let the FBI go medieval on your ass. There’s lots of room at Gitmo.
Selah.
Keep up the outrage folks. Don’t let them panic you, or make you grab your ankles. The Bailout The Base Bill is Bullshit and deserves your outrage.
RoadDave 