Shame on Us (Slightly Misleading)

There are many good things about Canada, but there are a few things that make me feel ashamed.  I’m going to explain the history of a very shameful period of Canada.

About 170 years ago the government decided to take away the land and rights of Mormons across Canada.  Many of the Mormons were forcibly resettled to live in what they euphemistically called Mormon Reserved Areas in ghastly housing.  Fast forward to today.  The Mormons have been trying for years to get the Federal Government to redress their claims. 

Each time a new government comes in they promise to "do something about the Mormon Question", which means the government is going to fire up another Royal Commission who will study the obvious and recommend another Royal Commission. 

Even the Mormon Reserved Areas are being taken away, or some are being used for waste dumps, or having the logging and mineral rights sold by the Government, without the permission of the Mormons.  Health care on the Mormon Reserved Areas is, at best, third-world.  The cancer and chronic disease rates in Mormon Reserved Areas are several times that of the rest of Canada.  Mormons have to carry an ID card, called a Mormon Status Card.

If the Mormons complain, which they have for years, the government points to a dictated process whereby the Government is Judge, Jury and Prosecutor, as well as the appeals body.  If the Mormons ever got close to proving their case, which they have on hundreds of occasions, the government changes the rules. 

Needless to say the Mormons are so deeply annoyed that on occasion they have blockaded roads or railways and even gone toe to toe with the cops.  Imagine that, Mormons, essentially peaceable people, being shot and clubbed by the Provincial Police?  Well, 170 years of being screwed over daily will tend to do that to you.  Even the United Nations have said that the Mormons have been screwed over.

I bet you’re really outraged that the Canadian Government would screw over a religious group that way, aren’t you?  I mean this is almost as bad as the Third Reich’s Final Solution, but without the crematoriums.

Do me a favour and re-read the first six paragraphs and substitute the word "Indian", "Aboriginal" or "First Nations" for "Mormon"  I’ll wait.

Now, how do you feel?  If you feel really dirty, then welcome to the club.  I’ve conned you and I’ve done it on purpose.  Our various governments in Canada have screwed the aboriginal people about every way that you can imagine, as well as some you can’t even fathom, in a vaguely democratic country.

Assembly of First Nations Chief, Phil Fontaine is calling for a National Day of Action on June 29th, 2007 and I have some ideas for the AFN, so bear with me. 

Up front, I don’t like the idea of breaking the law, but I am a firm believer in leaning up against it on occasion, or using it to gain an advantage.  So nothing I’m going to propose will be illegal.

First off, blockading rail lines is illegal and you can be charged and sued, as the Mohawk in Desoronto have found out.  Some folks blockaded the main rail line that runs through their reserve for a day or two and CN Rail is suing the perpetrators for a couple of million.

So, don’t blockade the rail lines.  But it is vitally important that a safety deficiency or safety issue be reported, promptly, after all, we all know that rail safety is very important.  Who knows, there might be a child playing near the tracks.  Or a truck that has broken down near a crossing.  If I was CN, I’d want to know about it, since any safety problems are important aren’t they?  I think it is important that the local police are also told, as soon as possible, as often as possible, after all, safety is everyone’s business.

There is a big six lane highway in this province called the 401.  It has a minimum speed limit of 80 kph and a maximum of 100 kph.  I don’t know about you, but studies have shown that your likelihood of dying in a car crash increases incredibly from 80 to 100 kph.  I think if a couple of hundred folks, in their cars and trucks decided that the minimum speed is a safe and prudent speed, then that is important to the well-being of all Canadians.  Don’t you? 

Please be sure to erect signs along the side of the 401, going east and west, explaining that your group is being prudent and safe.  It might take several dozen of you, traveling at the minimum, side by side, but I can be reasonably certain that traffic will back up from Montreal to Windsor.  Oh, and with the signs?  Be sure to start asking for permits now.  For every sign, one permit and application.  Or, ask various landowners along the route for permission to erect each sign on their lands.  If some of those signs, a few anyway, mention the real reason you’re being prudent, well, that’s a good thing. 

As for the politicians, I think phone calls are important, as well as postcards and letters.  Surface mail sent to your Parliamentary representative does not require postage.  I know that photocopiers can turn out hundreds of copies in just a few minutes.  I’m certain that there are mailboxes nearby where you live and they might have a fixed capacity, based on size.  If a mailbox is filled up with legal, legitimate correspondence to your elected representative isn’t it your duty and responsibility as a good second-class citizen of Canada, to let Canada Post know that their mailbox is full?  I think so.  Perhaps a phone call and then a postcard.

Now, there is the question of being environmentally friendly.  Ontario has a policy of giving people a refund on empties.  As far as I can tell, there is no minimum, just one is enough.  There are 24 bottles or cans in a case.  That would be 24 people returning a single empty to a designated outlet and asking for a receipt, of course.  If that happens to cause lines to form around the block, well, I think it would be a jolly nice time to hand out a flyer or two, on public property, explaining exactly why there are so many people returning one empty. 

After all, its all about the environment isn’t it?  Do make sure that you obtain any permits you might need to hand out literature in your particular jurisdiction.  One permit application per person.  Start now.

Then there is the whole street theatre side of things.  My favourite is a clown nose.  That’s right, a red rubber or plastic clown nose.  There is no law that I’m aware of that says you can’t wear one.  I think there is a certain whimsical joy in a clown nose, especially if you are dealing with a bunch of clowns in government.  Why not make a statement by wearing a clown nose on June 29th?  It is non-threatening and, if you have to, have a one-page note to explain to others why you are wearing a clown nose, then offer them their own clown nose too. 

Incidentally, as far as I can tell, there is no law that says 500 people wearing clown noses can’t stand on a street corner, or go on the bus or subway, en masse.  It might slow things down a lot, if everyone paid with dimes and made sure they counted each dime out for the ticket taker, but, after all, you don’t want to cheat the system.  Of course not.  That would be wrong.

Just as wrong as sending Mormons to Reserve Areas.  Right?