Lame Duck

I watched the State O’ Da Union Address with President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy last night, having read the text of his blather earlier. Let’s look at the challenges:

He’s deeply screwed when it comes to the war in Iraq.  The game is lost.  There were no WMD’s.  There were no linkages between Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.  The CIA provided that which has been discovered to be manufactured or well-shined ‘evidence’ that has resulted in more than 3,000 soldiers being killed for no sound reason, except the Boss wanted to be The War President. 

New Orleans is still a festering mess of a third-world disaster area.  Everyone remembers the "Brownie, you’re doin a hell of a job" clip, about three days before Brownie got his ass handed to him for a hat.

Scooter Libby started his hearings yesterday.  If Libby had a lick of sense, he’d pull a John Dean and spill his guts.  Cheney and Rove don’t want to see Libby anywhere near a court, as the stories he could tell would surely curdle the coffee of half of the Republican party

Tom DeLay, Randy "Duke" Cunningham and Jack Abramoff.  Nuff’ said about the other half of the Republican party.  By the way, Randy Cunningham’s website is still up, the last posting being 11-18-05.  Cunningham is also known as Inmate 94405-198 in Tucson, AZ, while Jack Abramoff is either "mah beeyotch" or Inmate 27593-112 in Cumberland, MD, depending on whom you talk to.

The Military Industrial Complex has sucked so hard on the public tax tit that the wallet in Washington is flatter than a woodchuck under the wheels of a a five-ton truck full of undocumented workers.  The money is going to run out soon, so the boys have the milking machine turned up to 11.

Internationally, the US is looked upon like the village syphilitic:  Doomed, diseased and undesirable.   

China has shot one of its own satellites out of the sky to prove they can play with the big boys in space.  North Korea, is, well, it still is.  India has landed one of their own satellites without it turning into a gob of molten metal.  This gives Pakistan a case of the Fear.  A great combination that, a military junta that can’t find their own borders or stop anyone from getting in or out, even if they stop at the customs shack and list their occupation as "terrorist".  Then give both sides nukes.

Russia is playing The Clapper (Clap On – Clap Off) with oil in Europe and cranking up the KGB again just to bring a sense of fun to international politics.  Britain is turned inward as the Blair government lurches toward a leadership convention to figure out who is going to lead Labour into the toilet in the next UK Election.  Right now, the UK Conservatives could run a Weimeraner in a necktie and win a majority.

Hugo Chavez delights in telling Bush to eat shit and die, while shipping tankers of furnace oil to the US, gratis, to keep the citizens from freezing to death.  Iran’s Prime Minister keeps yelling "You suck!" at the US. 

Then there is the original sinner, Osama Bin Laden, who still drives a cab in Pittsburgh and has his own myspace site where his buddies post videos.  The technological might of the US military and security services still can’t find a six foot six Arab man with a dialysis machine strapped to his back.  

At least Castro is sick and will probably die soon, so Rove can claim, using the Presidential Meat Puppet, that"Commie-nizm Is Dead and the Axis of Evil is losing" while standing under a banner of "Mission Accomplished" in front of a Cuban sandwich shop in Miami.   

As you can see, up front, Jo Jo The Idiot Boy is behind on points. 

Into the middle of this mess comes The Decider Who Decides the Deciding.  He skulks into the Congress to deliver a State of the Union Address.  No more glorious high-fives and screaming Senators begging to kiss the hem of His garment.  Dubya looked like he wasn’t entirely convinced he should be there, but was going to put the squeeze on the widow to buy the deluxe aluminum siding, rather than the standard.  Maybe he’d win the set of steak-knives for Second place in the sales contest. 

President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy couldn’t order a Happy Meal without Karl Rove writing it down for him.  We got to hear what Karl and Dick have come up with to ensure the Legacy of The President who is actually rated lower than Richard Nixon just before Nixon did his own Saigon in 1974. 

So what did those two punks come up with?  A tax break for health care that adds up to jack squat, as the existing private insurers are already making sure their basic premiums will almost exactly match the dollars given back with the tax cut for the nine people who actually can get the tax break.  Of course, there must be medical liability tort reform, to save those poor doctors and hospitals from frivolous lawsuits.

When it comes to the Migra, he’s going to toss more bodies and technology at it but also do a temporary foreign worker program designed to keep out ‘drug smugglers and terrorists’.  Plus, he wants to create a new, documented, slave class, rather than the undocumented slave class he’s currently working with. 

Jo Jo The Idiot Boy called for even more technology to be thrown at conservation and reducing the dependence on foreign oil that them terrorists could turn off.  By 2017, he wants to see 35 million barrels in renewable energy, meaning ten years from now. But, at the same time, he wants to see the Strategic Petroleum Reserves to double ASAP, which means more drilling, preferably through the head of a polar bear in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, starting next Thursday.

Then came the shocker:  He said the word Global Climate Change out loud.  Then he said America is Addicted to Oil.  To quote Raoul Duke, "Kazart!"

Now this is not really news.  President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy has moved his lips to conservation before, starting back in 2001.  Same with tort reform, immigration reform, health care reform and all the rest of his pusillanimous applause lines.  At least this time he didn’t demand the right to nuke North Korea and Iran to get the right-wing nabobs up on their hind feet clapping like apes in a shock cage.  It means nothing:  He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

Meanwhile up in the cheap seats, meaning where the Vice-President and the Speaker of the House sit, you could butter the tension on your toast.  Pelosi was at least striving to be gracious, wearing a pasted-on smile that could only be accomplished with epoxy and a bent coat-hanger inside her mouth.  Fortunately she was sitting far enough away from the Vice-President to not be at risk of having to perform CPR on the Undead. 

Shotgun Dick Cheney looked like he’d rather be performing testicular surgery on himself with a pair of rusty linesman’s pliers.  You know Cheney is trying to find a way to invite Donald Rumsfeld out for an afternoon of duck hunting. 

Speaking of Rummy, one of the original four of the Terror Trust, he’s now being compared to Robert McNamara, the micromanaging, meddling, money man who pored over individual bombing targets with LBJ in the 60’s.  Rumour has it, if Rummy had his way, he would have outsourced the whole Iraqi war to Blackwater Security:  Most of the rest of it was already in the hands of KBR, Halliburton, DynCorp and Triple Canopy.

At the end of the dog and pony show, what did we really see, learn or hear that was new, or showed some kind of accommodation for the can of WhoopAss the voters unleashed on the Republicans?  Nothing.  No points scored. On the ten-point must, with three judges:  World 30, Dubya 0.  He’s still ruling like the Bill of Rights, the Constitution and even the Magna Carta don’t apply to him, after all he’s Dubya and he’s been to college!  

Jo Jo The Idiot Boy is still all noblesse and no obliege.  More correctly, Karl and Dick are all noblesse and no obliege, as Dubya is too dumb to string the American people along with this many sound-bites in any coherent order.  It almost makes me long for the old days of Ari Fleisher.