Since the Republican election rout a couple of weeks ago, the Republican Reptiles are now lining up to get off the ship, ably assisted by Democrats. In a couple of weeks you won’t find anyone with a Republican membership card who was in favour of the war in Iraq.
I suppose quite a few of them will claim that their addiction to booze/pills/porn/snack cakes/raw power will be their excuse for voting for the war. Many will check into a 30-day rehab to get over their illness: ("It was the Little Debbie cakes that made me believe Colin Powell at the UN when he talked about WMD’s")
It still doesn’t solve the problem of what to do about Iraq. Since there are no truly clear answers, there have been a number of people coming forward with their opinions, some considered, some hallucinatory and some simply daft.
The Pentagon has reduced Iraq to three scenarios: Go Long, Go Big or Go Home. Go Long means stay for the next five, ten, twenty years. Go Big calls for troops on every streetcorner. Go Home, means pack up the tents and tanks then toss the Iraq government the keys with a ‘fair thee well’.
All three simplistic scenarios have three simplistic results: Go Long means the US will go bankrupt trying to pay for it. Go Big means bringing back Selective Service to feed more troops into a slow-spinning human Cuisinart. Go Home means fighting terrorists at home in six months.
There are upsides to each scenario, at least if you are on Dick Cheney’s speed-dial. Go Long means Haliburton, Blackwater and the rest of the Cheney’s Buddies will make even more money. After all, Go Long means more need for private contractors to do what the Pentagon should be doing, but doesn’t, can’t or won’t. As an example, most of the IT, foodservice, housekeeping and transport functions in Iraq are performed by private contractors, not the military. Go look at the careers section at www.kbr.com. There are 373 jobs in Iraq open as of today.
Go Big could see the biggest reduction in unemployment since the Second World War as a big piece of the population between 18 and 42 are invited to attend, no RSVP needed. Of course, all these new soldiers will need guns and groceries. The Pentagon will have to farm that out to private industry to teach the newly minted soldiers which end of a weapon is the naughty end and which end is the cuddly end. Someone will invent a way to teach parade drill using an iPod, text messaging, skater tunes or urban beats.
Go Home? Cheney will get his cherished police state. The military will be expanded to search under every tulip, tree and julep for terrorists. Private companies will be set up to provide ‘security’ for the government. Security will mean 24-7-365 observation of all suspects. After all, if you have nothing to hide, you won’t object to being watched for your own security. At least the ports and borders will be secured, several years too late. It will probably be done by a private company who can do it for less than the Pentagon can.
In any of the cases, someone has to pay for it. Let’s see, who can pay for it. Hmmmm. That would be you. It is just outrageous enough, but almost plausible, that you will be sent a bill for Homeland Security, attached to your 1040 form. They might even work it like the airline ticket surcharges, just jammed in there, no discussion, no recourse. You will be giving us $10 a day to fight terror, Visa, MasterCard, Amex, Discovery accepted.
RoadDave 