Semi-Fake News VII

This is a Forest Gump kind of week.  Stupid Is as Stupid Does when it comes to Nukes, Porn, Sex and Condoms.

November 3, 2006 U.S. Web Archive Is Said to Reveal a Nuclear Primer

By WILLIAM J. BROAD  (NYTimes)  Last March, the federal government set up a Web site to make public a vast archive of Iraqi documents captured during the war. The Bush administration did so under pressure from Congressional Republicans who had said they hoped to “leverage the Internet” to find new evidence of the prewar dangers posed by Saddam Hussein.

But in recent weeks, the site has posted some documents that weapons experts say are a danger themselves: detailed accounts of Iraq’s secret nuclear research before the 1991 Persian Gulf war. The documents, the experts say, constitute a basic guide to building an atom bomb.

Last night, the government shut down the Web site after The New York Times asked about complaints from weapons experts and arms-control officials. A spokesman for the director of national intelligence said access to the site had been suspended “pending a review to ensure its content is appropriate for public viewing.  We’re concerned about 12-year olds seeing this kind of material."

Jared Fleegus a 12-year old from Groton, CT, who downloaded the plans from the Internet said that "The plans are sooo bogus man.  No plutonium seed.  Crap focus mirrors.  No trigger synchronizers better than 22 milliseconds and the casing?  Half-assed Soviet era engineering.  That’s so much bullshit my Mom’s plants are growing.  Jeez, is this the best our government can do?  Lameass 1970’s technology?" 

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12 SMARTCARDS GO MISSING IN TENNESSEE; CONTROL ELECTRONIC VOTING MACHINES
Fri Nov 03 2006 10:09:31 ET Drudge Report

Political insiders have expressed alarm after 12 voter smartcards have gone missing from one Shelby County, TN early vote location.  The cards are used to activate electronic voting machines.
The location at the center of the controversy is Bishop Byrne High School on E. Shelby Drive in Memphis. 

The polling place started out with 25 cards. By Wednesday, 11 were missing, says an eyewitness.  The location was given 5 more smartcards on Thursday.  And another card went missing.  Someone possessing a smartcard could use ‘off the shelf equipment’ [equipment that reprograms the card] and alter it to be used multiple times, and cast multiple votes.

Presidential Advisor Karl Rove, approached at a Memphis BestBuy checkout line said that the missing voting machine smartcards have, "Nothing to do with us.  No siree.  Nothing.  Nope.  Nothing to do with Republican Candidate Bob Corker either.  Nope. Just more Democrat Paranoia from Harold Ford Junior.  And the bearded, terrorist, homosexual-marrying, file-swapping, file encrypting Evildoers of the Axis of Evil who will take over if you vote Democrat."

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Orgies in Wahabi Saudi Arabia: Western culture blamed

Special to World Tribune.com Friday, November 3, 2006   Known as a modest and pious man, Saudi King Abdullah has been hearing steady reports of a sharp decline in morals in his country.

In Jeddah, the Mawadda Social and Family Reconciliation and Counseling Center has been processing requests for help from thousands of married couples on the verge of breaking up, Middle East Newsline reported. The threat is not divorce, heavily frowned upon in the kingdom, but of the husband establishing a second home with a concubine or prostitute.

"Our youths are not, unfortunately, educated on the importance of leading a secure married life," said Hassan Al Shelabi, the center director.  Al Shelabi said his center has received reports of wife swapping, of husbands pressuring wives to sleep with their friends and of orgies. He said these requests reflect the influence of Western culture, easily accessible on satellite television or the Internet.  

"The parents should be mindful that ‘Saving Ryan’s Privates’ or ‘Dirt Bike Butt Bangers’ are not films that a pious family should have readily available.  Go to London or New York for that kind of material, like the old days." said Al Shalabi.

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Evangelist Admits Meth, Massage, No Sex
Nov 03 2:34 PM US/Eastern By CATHERINE TSAI
Associated Press Writer COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.

Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay marriage opponent.

Haggard resigned Thursday as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and stepped down as leader of his Colorado megachurch while the two groups investigate the allegations. 

Talking to reporters outside his house Friday, Haggard denied the sex allegations but said that he did buy meth from the man because he was curious.   "I bought it for myself but never used it," he said. "I was tempted, but I never used him.  Or the meth. Or the DTK flavoured condoms.  Or the lube. Or the goat. Or the Saudi porn."

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Flavored condom ad in bad taste?

Fri Nov 3, 2006 9:06am ET  NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Indian authorities want to stop the daytime airing of a television advertisement promoting flavoured condoms saying it is obscene and in bad taste, a newspaper reported Friday.

The advert promotes DKT’s "XXX" strawberry, chocolate and banana flavoured condoms with the catchline "What is your flavor of the night?."  But the Advertising Standards Council of India and the Censor Board have asked the government to bar the ad from being broadcast during the day, especially during the popular Champions Trophy international cricket tournament.

"This campaign is obscene," Sharmila Tagore, chairwoman of the Censor Board was quoted as saying in the Times of India. "Maybe DKT is targeting raunchy teenagers. But the ads are definitely not meant for children.  We do not wish our children to know that playing the pink piccolo is an acceptable behavior, despite the actions of various American politicians." 

A spokesman for DKT has said that they are "currently testing new flavours like Bubble Gum, Mango Lassi and Vindaloo" that would be more child friendly.

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Serious Security Breach At Los Alamos

November 3rd, 2006  (CBS/AP) The recent security breach at Los Alamos National Laboratory was very serious, with sensitive materials being taken out of the facility — possibly including information on how to deactivate locks on nuclear weapons, officials tell CBS News.

drug raid at a Los Alamos-area home last month. The FBI was called in to investigate.   

Multiple sources now tell CBS News that the material includes sensitive weapons-design data.  FBI Spokesperson Jedgar Hoobler said that "We have a person of interest in the Connecticut area, near Groton, who may have posted the data to the Internet."

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You know what frightens me?  I didn’t do that much writing or editing on this post.