I can only make so much stuff up in any given month.
Nurse ‘savaged’ by enraged giant pig
Last updated at 22:00pm on 13th October 2006 Daily Mail Online
A nurse has spoken of her terror after she was attacked by a giant pig which charged the horse she was riding and then savaged her after she was thrown to the ground. Suffering from broken ribs from the fall, Carolyn Robinson feared for her life as the enraged pig hurtled at her.
The ferocious beast, which she describes as "huge", mauled the 51 year old and snapped at her legs as she tried desperately to fight it off while lying prone in a quiet country lane. The pig was eventually driven off by Mrs Robinson’s worried teenage daughter, with the help of passers-by.
The animal is believed to still be on the loose in Hampshire’s New Forest and police are urging people to be cautious and report any threatening pig incidents. Police are also not encouraging people to go into the forest with lettuce, tomatoes and bread, as pigs know about the BLT sandwich and may attack in self-defense.
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Death-row prisoner gets pregnant in solitary
Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:22am ET
HANOI (Reuters) – A death-row inmate held in solitary confinement in Vietnam for almost a year is pregnant and is seeking a pardon to give birth, a newspaper reported on Thursday.
The Lao Dong (Labour) newspaper quoted a police doctor as saying tests in September confirmed that convicted heroin trafficker Nguyen Thi Oanh, 39, was then 11 weeks pregnant. The report said it was the first time that a death-row prisoner had become pregnant in Vietnam and that police were investigating how it had happened. Oanh’s husband was serving a jail sentence at another prison in another province, the newspaper said.
"Honestly, the Angel of the Lord came unto me on death row." said Oanh. "He said something about his son coming back. I don’t get it though, I’m a Buddhist and this stuff doesn’t track with me." Through a spokesman God said "Sorry, wrong person. It won’t happen again. Ever."
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Bush Is Said to Have No Plan if GOP Loses
By Kenneth T. Walsh Posted 10/13/06 US News & World Report
Some Republican strategists are increasingly upset with what they consider the overconfidence of President Bush and his senior advisers about the midterm elections November 7–a concern aggravated by the president’s news conference this week.
"They aren’t even planning for if they lose," says a GOP insider who informally counsels the West Wing. If Democrats win control of the House, as many analysts expect, Republicans predict that Bush’s final two years in office will be marked by multiple congressional investigations and gridlock, just like the last twitches of the Nixon White House.
"The Bush White House has had no relationship with Congress," said a Bush ally. "Beyond the Democrats, wait till they see how the Republicans–the ones that survive–treat them if they lose next month." GOP insiders are upset by Bush’s seeming inability to come up with new ideas or fresh approaches. There is even a heightened sensitivity to the way Bush talks about advisers who served his father.
President Bush, when asked about plans for a Republican defeat in mid-term elections said that "The US won’t cut and run. I’ll be in Crawford with the First Lady who won’t cut and run either. None of us will cut and run. Cut and run…cut and run…cut and run…Axis of Evildoers of the Axis of Evil Axis" A spokesman for the President said that Bush was suffering from a head cold and the effects of oxygen deprivation from his pretzel choking incident in January 2002.
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Running of the Elephants.
Republican uses animals, mariachi band to critique border security
By SARA INÉS CALDERÓN
The Brownsville Herald
October 11, 2006 — Reports of an elephant crossing the river or people trying to smuggle an elephant across were rampant Tuesday while an elaborate political stunt was taking shape near the mouth of the Rio Grande. It was a while later that the stunt, which was a photo shoot, was abruptly met by federal agents.
“The elephant never made landfall into Mexico, but I tell you something, he could have made 15 laps back and forth, but no one showed up,” said Raj Peter Bhakta, a former star on the NBC show “The Apprentice,” who also is a Republican candidate for the 13th District U.S. House of Representatives seat in Eastern Pennsylvania.
In Brownsville, he witnessed half a dozen men swim under one of the international bridges “with complete immunity” which in turn prompted him to take the immigration issue to the next level.
"Since I could get an elephant and a six-piece mariachi band across the border, I figured, why not try something bigger. Next week I’m going to have a concert with George Michael, Boy George, Barbara Streisand, Liza Minelli and Elton John floated across the border on a barge. The only downside I see is seating for the fans and getting enough porta-potties in place." said Bhakta.
According to his Web site, he is in favor of “sensible immigration reform” and supports a border fence, local law enforcement assistance with immigration laws and the use of the National Guard troops to help the U.S. Border Patrol. “To my surprise, the band played on, the elephants splashed away, and nobody showed up,” Bhakta said of the stunt. “I’m astounded.”
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RoadDave 