For some reason these are all out of Washington DC today. I have no idea why.
WASHINGTON (AP) — The U.S. command in Baghdad is seeking bidders for a two-year, $20 million public relations contract that calls for monitoring the tone of Iraq news stories filed by U.S. and foreign media.
Proposals, due Sept. 6, ask companies to show how they’ll "provide continuous monitoring and near-real time reporting of Iraqi, pan-Arabic, international, and U.S. media," according to the solicitation issued last week.
Contractors also will be evaluated on how they will provide analytical reports and customized briefings to the military, "including, but not limited to tone (positive, neutral, negative) and scope of media coverage."
Other media scope coverage tones are: “Rumsfeld is a War Criminal”, “Dubya is too stupid to be that clueless” and “Cheney is a thieving bastard who should rot in Hell for all Eternity” Why not?
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WASHINGTON, Sept. 1 (Kyodo) _ (EDS: ADDING INFO)
The United States successfully carried out a flight test of ground- based missile defense system Friday, shooting down a warhead over the Pacific Ocean and saying it now has a "good chance, as soon as pigs can fly" to intercept long- range North Korean missiles.
The success, which came after two failed tests in December 2004 and February 2005, is expected to boost the recently stepped-up U.S. efforts to build up its missile shield since North Korea’s missile launches on July 5.
"I think we have a good chance" to shoot down long-range North Korean missiles, Missile Defense Agency Director Lt. Gen. Henry Obering said in announcing the successful test. "And it’s one that I feel safer and sleep better at night," Obering told a press conference.
Shortly after the press conference, the new missile shield weapon was pointed at the broad side of a barn. Skeeter Murdock, 81, a farmer in Bumcramp, Nevada reported that his barn was missed by the shot, but his henhouse and outhouse were destroyed.
Mark Garagos, attorney for Skeeter Murdock, said that he will be suing the US Department of Defense for $114 gazillion dollars.
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By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID
Associated Press Writer WASHINGTON
The Postal Service recently, with great fanfare, issued a new set of stamps depicting motorcycles. Collectors who buy copies issued on the first day the stamps are available can get them with a special commemorative postmark. Unfortunately, the colorful postmark spells it "motorcyle."
Having discovered this, the post office announced Friday that new orders for first-day envelopes will have a corrected postmark.
Unless the buyer wants it spelled wrong. In that case they can still order the version with the incorrect postmark. Just include a note asking for the incorrect version.
The Postal Service is also offering new custom postmarks to collectors wanting the postmark to say things like “Vroom-Vroom” “All Your Base Are Belong To Us” and “Franked by Chinese”
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By BRIAN WESTLEY
Associated Press Writer WASHINGTON
With the nation’s capital experiencing a spike in violent crime, Lori Boothroyd felt a little uneasy about bringing her family to the city. "I told the kids to stay near me," the Noblesville, Ind., mother said as she paused on the National Mall to snap pictures of the Washington Monument.
Businesses and government officials are worried that other visitors will share the same concerns in the wake of robberies and slayings at tourism sites.
"If you keep mugging people on the Mall, you’re going to mug our economy at some point," said Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, the District of Columbia’s nonvoting member of Congress.
When asked for a reaction, Vice-President Dick Cheney, rolling naked in a swimming pool filled with $100 dollar bills at his undisclosed location said “Fuck that. Just don’t go where there are Negroes. Doesn’t she get it yet??”
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WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Ritualistic use of toxic mercury by followers of Voodoo and other religions is dangerous but regulating it could drive the practice underground and possibly violate U.S. guarantees of freedom of religion, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency said on Thursday.
Mercury can be worn in amulets, sprinkled on the floor, or added to an oil lamp as part of some Latino and Afro-Caribbean practices including Santeria, Palo, Voodoo, and Espiritismo, according to the EPA’s inspector general.
Some practitioners believe that the mercury, which forms tiny droplets in liquid form, can attract love, luck or riches, and even ward off evil, the report said.
The EPA’s inspector general did say that as long as the religion wasn’t mainstream God-Fearing Christian, Protestant and mostly White, he could give a rats’ ass if they all died from mercury poisoning.
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I wish I could make this stuff up.
RoadDave 