Monthly Archives: July 2006

CHUM and Globe


In the 60’s and the 70’s before the advent of FM and the extended mixes of songs, DJs on AM talked over the musical intros of songs with what I would now call blather, but was called patter back then. 

You can’t really do it justice with the written word.  You had to hear the pounding wall of sound that poured out of Grandma’s radio:  Song to commercials to station ID to song in a seamless hosing of rock and roll radio energy.  There were three stations in Canada that provided that blast of power:  680CFTR, The Big 8, CKLW and the one and only 1050CHUM.   

Mark Daley at City-TV was one of the big voices at 1050CHUM.  You can still hear the resonance in his pipes when he introduces Great Movies, but imagine that basso profundo, with a tiny bit of echo, two paces back from the microphone, bellowing Ten-FIFTY CHUM! like the Voice of Doom.  It made “This is CNN” by James Earl Jones sound like the Vienna Boys Choir having a hissy fit. 

That was how it was in AM radio back then.  I was fortunate to come into radio as a DJ during the last twitch and gasp of AM.  You could play rock and roll at 7:50 in the morning and people thought it was great, even in small towns up in the Ottawa Valley, which was where I was a fish in a pond.

I was lucky enough to go to a couple of radio station conventions in Canada.  I got to meet some of my colleagues before AM went away to become the last bastion of the call-in show catering to the shrill and marginally sane. 

Some of the wildmen were, Art Stevens, Mark Elliot, Terry Steele, Tom Lucas, Casey Fox, Jim Hunter, Dan (The Canadian Spy) Ferguson, Ivan Hunter, Shotgun Tom Rivers and Mike Cooper.  There are too many stories and many of the participants are still alive, so the stories will have to wait, but they were all talented and as crazy as bedbugs on Laughing Gas.

Yesterday a huge conglomerate, BellGlobemedia bought CHUM Limited, which had become another huge conglomerate.  The new company will own about 40% of the radio, television, cable channel and newspaper outlets in the country.   The layoffs have already started as CHUM is absorbed into the Borg.

1050CHUM will probably go away.  The format and the spirit are long dead ghosts today.  But late at night, find an AM radio and tune up and down the dial, slowly. Maybe, if the stars line up right and the Gods of AM are on your side, you might just hear a station identification from the past that will make your hair stand on end while the opening notes of Junior Walker and the All-Stars “Shotgun” runs up in the background. 

 

Muzzled Robert Novak Unmuzzled


Robert Novak, the syndicated columnist, has finally admitted he testified in an investigation about the outing of Valerie Plame.  I have some grudging admiration for Novak, despite his politics.  He’s a little too right wing for my tastes, but he’s thorough and has a pragmatic streak in his suggestions that I can at least appreciate.

Novak admitted to releasing his sources to the investigation.  His sources confirmed that Valerie Plame was a CIA operative.  That Valerie Plame was married to Joe Wilson was immaterial or perhaps not as we will see.

The backstory is important.  Joe Wilson was an ambassador.  Wilson went to Niger before the Iraq war to see if there was any truthiness to rumors that Saddam Hussein was trying to buy nuclear materials on the black market for a weapon of mass destruction.  

The allegations were that Valerie Plame wearing her CIA hat, suggested her partner Joe, go to Niger and get the goods.  Joe did, the goods were bullshite and Joe said so out loud.  

Think back to Dubya and Colin Powell, specifically a State of the Union address and Colin at the UN:  Hell, yeah he’s doing it.  We got proof!  Pictures! Pie Charts! Graphs! Illustrations! Axis of Evil!  Al Qaeda!  Wilson’s comments at the time were emphatically unwanted by the Administration.

The proof, we found out later, was based on unverified and fabricated British and CIA sources.  The evidence fell apart faster than a Wal-Mart dress shirt in the dryer once US soldiers started walking around in Iraq, actually looking for WMD’s.

To slap Joe Wilson, someone decided that outing his wife, Valerie Plame, would be appropriate.  Not only does it blow Wilson away as a credible source of any valid criticism, but it also gives the CIA one up the side of the head for not delivering perfect WMD evidence and botching the discreet overthrow of Saddam Hussein in the 90’s.

Outing a CIA agent is illegal in the US and carries some serious penalties.  Telling nose-stretchers to a Grand Jury is also illegal.  This is why Scooter Libby is in a world of hurt.  Scooter lied to a grand jury about outing Plame to a reporter, Judith Miller, of the NYTimes.  Judith Miller spent 85 days in the can for refusing to reveal her sources.

Novak was one of the other reporters who were told about Valerie Plame.  The sources, according to Novak were Karl Rove and Bill Harlow, an ex-CIA spokesperson.  There was one other human that Novak will not name publicly, as his primary source.  Rove and Harlow confirmed the primary source.

The reason Novak gave up his sources to Special Prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald are easy enough to understand:  Novak was going to get his financial and professional nuts cut off and served back to him on a plate.  Confronted with financial ruin and jail time, Novak reluctantly caved and gave up all three names.

What does this all mean?  It is a chain of things that are suggested or inferred.  

Things point back to the Executive branch of the US Government as the most likely source of the leak:  Clerks and receptionists don’t have that kind of data or are too scared to open their mouths.  Only those who feel they are immune from prosecution would consider leaking that kind of information to a journalist.

It suggests that Joe Wilson might have been right about the WMD/Iraq/Saddam Hussein evidence, as why else would they out his wife, but to muzzle Wilson?  It would also show anyone thinking of varying from the speaking points should think twice about opening their mouths.

Assuming Joe Wilson was right, why wouldn’t a government want the truth to come out?  That’s easy enough:  The decision to fight a war was already taken.  The speaking points were already written.  The public hadn’t quite fully swallowed the meal, but it was in their mouth.  Dissent would cause the American public to spit it out.

Now, the troubling question:  When was the decision taken to start some kind of issue with Iraq and Saddam Hussein that might lead to a war? 

The implied story has logic to it:  Someone wanted to solve the Iraq problem once and for all by getting Saddam Hussein, a loose cannon, off the Baghdad big chair, leaving a legacy of Middle East Peace in Our Time.  The Legacy Someone.

Something was needed to push the Iraqi population into overthrowing Saddam Hussein.  The CIA tried a couple of times in the 90’s to tip it over and failed.  Problem:  Saddam Hussein had layers of secret police burying dissenters and all their relatives in unmarked mass graves.  The population couldn’t rise up.  The Oil for Food sanctions were starving them to death slowly, while the Ba’ath party and the Iraqi army were eating fine.

This Legacy Someone needed a provocation.  The UN weapons inspectors and the International Atomic Energy Agency inspectors said something was smelly in Iraq, but they had nothing that could be pinned to a wall, despite trying hard. 

The UN wasn’t willing to step it up a notch into a police action.  It would take at least two years to pull together a coalition like 1991.  That wouldn’t happen until the UN had exhausted every diplomatic possibility including Rock, Paper, Scissors with Tariq Azziz.

Iraq shooting at Israel might, or might not, do as a reason to invade Iraq.  The implied danger being Saddam Hussein is capable of popping a few at Israel and just to be pissy, adding chemical weapons to the ends of a couple of Scuds, like 1991. 

Israel might respond by turning Iraq into radioactive ashes.  That wouldn’t play in the US homeland:  Too foreign, too dangerous and too abstract the preventing of something that might not happen.  It would position Israel as a bunch of nuclear crazies with itchy trigger fingers.

Defending Israel also opens up the question of who actually supplied weapons to both sides in the Middle East.  It would be very embarrassing for France, England, Germany, Italy, Spain, Russia and the United States to have it well known that they play all sides against all sides, as long as the cash comes first.

Shooting at US aircraft in the No-Fly zones didn’t play.  A starving Iraqi population, with desperate humanitarian needs, nope.  Afghan drug lords?  Nope. 

Ensuring the US oil supply?  Too Imperialist and it would annoy Saudi Arabia.  The House of Saud is in trouble with local loons who think the Royal family is too cozy with the US as it is.

It had to be something to get the population of the US onside for a short, fast, war against Iraq:  An obvious black and white event that everyone could get behind. 

The calendar turned over to September 11th 2001. 

The Legacy Someone linked it together:  A Saudi cement-head, Osama Bin Laden (Shhh..He’s not Saudi, he’s a terrorist hiding in caves) is being supported by Afghani Taliban cement heads and (wait for it…) Saddam Hussein who will sell them Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Outing Valerie Plame was nothing more a slap to keep a few people in line.  It is barely a parenthetical footnote that Novak gave up his sources.

The real story, where an unmuzzled Robert Novak should now spend time, is when was the decision to attack Iraq taken and who called it.

 

US State Department hacked


This just in from the Associated Press  “(Washington) by Ted Bridis:  The State Department is recovering from large-scale computer break-ins worldwide over the past several weeks that appeared to target its headquarters and offices dealing with China and North Korea, The Associated Press has learned.” 

“Investigators believe hackers stole sensitive U.S. information and passwords and implanted backdoors in unclassified government computers to allow them to return at will, said U.S. officials familiar with the hacking. These people spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the widespread intrusions and the resulting investigation.”

Every nation considers information warfare to be a cornerstone of warfighting.  Take away the communications and you take away the ability to react quickly or tactically to something.  In older conflicts it was cutting down telephone and telegraph wires.  Today, the telephone technology is internet-based:  Western Union doesn’t do telegrams anymore.  

So Who Done It?  The list is as long as your arm, but the two areas the hackers wanted to get into was the China and North Korea desks at the State Department.  This makes me think it wasn’t the Jamaican National Security Service.

 

Vicious Rumors and Lies


Since the title of this piece is Vicious Rumors and Lies, I want to enlist your help in spreading a viral rumor, just to see if we can.  Here it is: 

 

(AB) The Oil Companies are secretly funding terrorist groups to target transit systems worldwide, like Milan, London and now Mumbai.  This puts terrified transit riders in cabs, or on scooters or into cars.  This means drivers have to buy more gasoline, which puts more profits into the pockets of the oil companies.  Haliburton works with the Oil Companies; they’re the key.  Hamid Karzi used to work for Unocal.  Haliburton had a piece of the pie in the Afghan oil and gas pipeline going to Turkey.  The US has a big military base at Incirlik in Turkey. 

 

OK, is that whacked enough?  As far as I know the rumor is not true.  It is just stupid enough that it might be.  I was considering adding something about werewolves in Panama, but I figured that would be pushing it too close to true to make a good rumor. 

 

All I ask is that you mail it, post it, set trackbacks into other blogs or do what you can in a few minutes online.

 

Now, the Why.  We have this wonderous Internet that is supposed to bring us closer together with instantaneous, heartfelt communications between people of all races, creeds, opinions and persuasions.  It hasn’t happened yet.

 

The cranky and deranged post wild speculation and outright fabrications every day, but we know enough to ignore Fox News.  Various other countries demonize each other as a matter of course.  Facts and reality have no place when you have demented speculation and bile-spitting hatred to crank people up. 

 

In a week’s time, we’ll do the same with the retraction of the story and find out if good news travels as fast as bad news.  Science is fun!       

Motor Money


Sunday it was announced that Juan Pablo Montoya is going to run the NASCAR Nextel Cup next season for Chip Ganassi Racing.  Today, it is rumored that Danica Patrick from the Indy Racing League is looking at making the change to NASCAR as well.  

If you are a gear-head, don’t yell me.  I’m going to simplify greatly for the non-gearheaded of our readers, as motorsports is big business, as well as fun. 

Stock cars, meaning NASCAR Nextel Cup, are those big rolling billboards with fenders over the tires.  Believe it or not, those bodies are somewhat like a Dodge Challenger, Chevy Impala and Ford Fusion.  Next year you will see a Toyota Camry body style.  

Under the metal skin, the things are purpose-built race cars with walloping big V-8 engines and carburetors.  700 to 800 horsepower are common and they run on Sunoco pump gasoline.  The car must weight 3500 pounds, ready to race. 

Formula One and Indy Racing League cars are sort of alike.  They are the low-slung fragile looking ones with the exposed wheels.  There are dozens of little wings, big wings, Gurney flaps and wickerbill aerodynamic devices bolted onto them.  There are all kinds of advertisements plastered on the Formula One and IRL cars too.  

IRL cars run on methanol, while Formula One has a unique gasoline-related fuel, special to their series.  A Formula One car has to weigh 1100 pounds and the tiny little computer controlled engines put out around 800 to 1000 horsepower.  IRL cars are less powerful and weigh a little more.

Some argue that Formula One is the pinnacle of the automotive engineering arts.  The vehicles generate enough downforce from all those wings that, theoretically, you could drive them upside down inside a big pipe. 

Other argue that paying $10 million for a chassis and another $5 million for one engine is insane even if it will rev to 20,000 rpm.  Some call NASCAR stock cars overgrown taxi cabs.  Some call the IRL cars toys, not fit for decent race fans.  I like them all.  I’d watch riding lawn mowers race, but I’m different. 

Drivers in NASCAR race into their 50’s and are just as competitive as the teenagers and twenty-somethings.  Formula One is only for those who have jackrabbit reflexes and eyes like a cat.  A Formula One driver is ancient at 30, if he isn’t dead.  A career in NASCAR is 10 to 25 years like Jeff Gordon or Mark Martin.  The Formula One career is perhaps 10 years at the most and only for the truly stellar like Schumacher.

NASCAR has the rules set up so of a field of 43 cars, at least 30 have a real shot at winning that particular race.  IRL, it comes down to cubic dollars.  It will be a Penske car that wins.  Formula One, either Schumacher or Alonzo, Ferrari or Renault.  If you aren’t in those rides, you are at the back.

Formula One is notorious for the utterly confusing politics of any decision that involves Bernie Ecclestone.  The IRL is not quite broke and the rules reflect that state of mad panic, plus Tony George.  NASCAR is ruled by Brian France and Mike Helton.  If they say so, it is so and don’t ask again.  Behave or Be Gone. 

There are thirty-six races in the Nextel Cup from February to November.  Formula One is eighteen races.  IRL holds fourteen.  Drivers are very rarely salaried positions:  They race for a percentage of the purse, sponsorship and other money that comes in.  There might be bigger money in Formula One, but the racing isn’t good.  The IRL doesn’t pay well but the racing is occasionally good. 

So Montoya and Patrick can race more often, more competitively, in cars that cost a couple of hundred thousand, for a purse in the millions.  In Formula One and the IRL you have cars that cost millions running for a purse in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. 

It might be a tougher gig in NASCAR, as the drivers race more often, over longer distances.  The upside is the money and the sheer joy of competing door to door with 42 other drivers.  

There will be a learning curve, as the dynamics of the two types of cars are almost polar opposites.  Expect some truly bone-headed mistakes and crashes from Montoya and Patrick if she jumps.  However, the racing, the real reason, is worlds better than where they are now.

I’ll address the gender issue too:  For those who think a woman isn’t “strong” enough to hustle an evil-handling stock car around Richmond or Texas, let me remind you that Nextel Cup cars all have power steering.  IRL cars don’t have power steering and Danica Patrick has done just fine at Richmond and Texas. 

Montoya and Patrick are racers.  Watching racers compete is a blast.

 

Sea of Japan Program


It is time to put the pieces in place in the Pacific Rim.  Consider this the equivalent of buying a program at the ballpark, so you can see the players and their stats.

 

China has missiles.  They point a bunch of them at Taiwan.  The deal is simple: If Taiwan declares independence from mainland China, the mainland will send a bucketload of badness at Taiwan.  China also has much unpleasantness pointed at Russia.  China has a huge army that can kick ass and takes names.  China has nukes, including submarines.

 

Taiwan has missiles.  Their stuff is mostly of ground to air and anti-ship missiles.  Taiwan also has a decent air force to protect from invasion from China.  The US has been the purveyor of fine weaponry to Taiwan since 1948.  Taiwan has all the primo gear the US makes.  Taiwan doesn’t have nukes, but they do have submarines.

 

South Korea has missiles.  Some of their own, but mostly US owned and operated missiles for defense.  South Korea also has artillery pointed at North Korea.  There is a significant US military presence in South Korea doing police action along the 38th parallel.  South Korea doesn’t have nukes, but they do have a couple of reactors at Ulsan.  South Korea also has submarines.

 

Russia has missiles.  Most of them are pointed at China.  Russia also has an army that can kick ass and take names.  Russia has nukes including submarines. 

 

Japan has missiles.  Most of them are short range air defense or anti-shipping missiles.  They also have a 240,000 person self-defense force that has some good, US provided toys.  Japan does have nuclear reactors, but no nuclear weapons.  Japan has submarines.

 

North Korea has missiles that work well enough.  They have a mammoth standing army with hundreds of artillery pieces pointed at South Korean targets all long the 38th parallel, including the US forces that are doing the police action along the 38th.  North Korea might very well have a couple of nuclear weapons.  North Korea also has submarines.

 

The United States has missiles.  A battle group is floating around in the area at all times including Aegis guided missile cruisers that could send rounds right into Kim Jong-Il’s second floor bathroom window in Pyongyang.  The US has a big base in South Korea and a couple more in Japan.  The US has nuclear submarines, with nukes, in the area.

 

Here’s the danger, aside from everyone in the area being armed:  The Sea of Japan is not that big.  You’ve got seven nations rolling around in there in ships and submarines, not to mention aircraft.  Of those seven, three nations are somewhat sensible:  Japan, South Korea and Russia. 

 

I can’t believe I just wrote that Japan, South Korea and Russia are somewhat sensible, but compared to the other four, they’re like Switzerland on Valium.

 

The other four are bitter, twisted and looking to pick a fight with anybody.  Somebody is going to either screw up or be deliberately provocative.  There is historical precedence for this kind of dumb.

 

The Gulf of Tonkin incident saw a couple of US war ships being snotty off the coast of North Viet Nam in August 1964.  North Viet Nam let off a couple of rounds at the ships as their own special way to saying ‘eff off’.  That was all it took for Lyndon Johnson to go to Congress and get the Gulf of Tonkin resolution passed.  That was the justification for escalation of the Viet Nam war by the US.

 

In 2005 the US released what really happened.  The USS Maddox and the C. Turner Joy were shooting rounds into North Viet Nam from international waters.  A North Vietnamese torpedo boat came out and let fly with a machine gun.  One round hit the Maddox.  The rest of the story regarding the Gulf of Tonkin incident was, to be generous, bull manure.

 

Will a submarine driver for any of the interested parties make a mistake and bump into someone else’s submarine?  Would the various governments manipulate that into a “provocative, unwarranted attack on a sovereign nation in the free and open Sea”?

 

Would that be slim enough justification?  For North Korea, it doesn’t take much to set them off.  The US is wound a little tight.  China operates in a state of perpetual panic regarding Taiwan.  Taiwan has had their colour-code terror alert Pez dispenser pinned on red since 1948. 

 

It won’t take much.

War Zone Crimes


Five US soldiers have been charged with serious crimes in Iraq.  Murder and Rape are the two serious ones.  The act happened in Mahmoudiya, south of Baghdad, back in March of this year.  You can search up the particulars at any reputable news source.

 

The US Military is going about charging and investigating the five with as much transparency as the US Military can scrape up.  They know they have to:  Iraq is watching the whole thing very closely.  I will not excuse the actions of the soldiers, except to say that when you brutalize humans, expect humans to act in a brutal manner.

 

Which is why the charges are serious:  They speak to how troops are managed in Iraq and what steps the US Military have taken to ensure that normal humans don’t cross that imaginary line from disciplined soldier to murderer. 

 

Like the rest of the planet, there is a percentage of disturbed people in the military, just as there is a percentage who drink too much, or enjoy needlepoint, or who are gay.  These tend to be fixed percentages.  With the exception of those who like Rickie Lee Jones or Juice Newton, it is in the realm of normal for any large group.

 

The problem is intrinsic.  Soldiers are given access to weapons and the power to project their will, within certain limits, with the permission of the government.  Fortunately the military 99 times out of 100, finds the unwell early in the process and keeps them away from the weapons.  Unwell people will slip through, because the system is run by humans and is imperfect.

 

However, the pressure to get and keep soldiers is ever-increasing.  One suggestion is that the US Military in the lower ranks, is made up of kids, right out of high school who have no hope for a job or college education.  This means small-town kids from poor towns, or urban kids with no alternatives.  The military has always been the last refuge of the poor.

 

A few years ago the US Navy had to rewrite all their manuals, down to a Grade 6 level of reading comprehension.  Recruits didn’t have the educational skills to read the manuals to understand how to operate or troubleshoot things like an aircraft catapult, or the steering gear on a ship.  But the pressure to recruit anything with a pulse didn’t go away.  This puts more pressure on the system to overlook those who are just a little unwell, to keep the warm body in the service and hope that they don’t cross the line.

 

I’m hoping the atrocities in Mahmoudiya are the work of a couple of unwell people who slipped through the cracks.  I also hope the US Military keeps the whole process transparent, so the population in Iraq can see that the process, although slow, will work to bring justice.  The penalties might not be what some cultures would find acceptable, but as long as justice is seen to be done, then it will be accepted. 

 

There is an axiom of the military:  Lead by Example.  Here’s a chance for the US Military to do exactly that.

Waiting for the Horns


The Greater Toronto Area is World Cup football-mad.  They have been in the grips of The Fever for a month.  Go near any bar with a TV during a match and expect to hear screams, yelling and much madness issuing forth during a game. 

 

Italian fans get jacked up before the match.  I’m not sure on what, perhaps espresso, but having a good time is the key.  When Italy wins, the air is filled with the sounds of car horns and yelling that you can hear on the fourteenth floor. 

 

The last time I heard that kind of fan support was a few years ago in Sardinia.  I was doing an IT job for the US Navy in La Maddalena out in the Mediterranean off the coast of Italy. 

 

Sunday morning of the Italian Grand Prix race a strange little gang assembled in the bar of the Hotel Villa Marina.  There was the hotel owner, a grizzled ex-Italian sailor, two women of alternative orientation from Austria, the cook and myself, glued to the TV in the bar.  The owner, seeing he had race fans in his midst, served us pharmaceutical-grade espresso and delicate Sardinian pastries all afternoon, compliments of the Hotel Villa Marina. 

 

The race was fine:  Michael Schumacher ran away with it and won the World Driver’s Championship.  Perhaps a minute after the checkered flag, you could hear the cars and scooters roaring up and down the streets, honking their horns.  Fans were screaming, yelling and waving huge Italian and Ferrari flags.  This went on for a half hour and eventually petered out, until you went to Admiralty Square and saw the party continuing in the bars and coffee shops.  There is nothing quite so wonderful as Italian fans in full song. 

 

In a few minutes the final of the World Cup will be over.  Right now it is 1-1 Italy and France tied.  We’ll see.      

Ganassi and Montoya?


Imagine Babe Ruth giving up Major League baseball and going to play in the Mississauga Recreational Three-Pitch league.  This just happened.  Juan Pablo Montoya has signed with Chip Ganassi Racing as their shoe in the 2007 NASCAR season. 

 

Montoya has signed on the line.  He’s coming from Formula One, the biggest, most lucrative, most over-wrought international circus of motorsports.  Montoya is going to the biggest, most lucrative, mildly over-wrought North American motorsports circus. 

 

It proves that Montoya is a real racer.  Formula One is a nose-to-tail high speed processional that is led by either Schumacher or Alonzo.  NASCAR is forty-two rats dumped out of a sack when the green is dropped. 

 

Oh boy!  Let the fun begin.

Afghanistan, a Pee and Thanks


Canada has a big bunch of troops in Afghanistan trying to keep things under control, with the American troops, fighting various groups.  Every day or two a Canadian soldier is either killed or maimed. 

 

Yesterday, Corporal Anthony Joseph Boneca, was killed near Kandahar City, in a firefight with insurgents.  He was 21 years old, from Thunder Bay and a reservist (sort of like the National Guard) with the Lake Superior Scottish Regiment.

 

On Friday, Stephen Fernandes apologized for his behavior.  Fernandes was one of the three men photographed pissing on the National War Memorial in Ottawa on Canada Day.    

 

I don’t know if I am reading this right, but there was more furor in the Canadian media about three drunk twits taking a leak on the War Memorial, than the regular maiming and killing of Canadian troops in Afghanistan. 

 

Yes, pissing on the War Memorial is outrageous.  Yes, our soldiers dying in Afghanistan is outrageous.  At least the piss artistes had the decency to come forward, make a heartfelt apology and take their lumps.  The media covered it extensively. 

 

The family of Corporal Anthony Joseph Boneca deserve something from us.    Since our media downplays the Afghanistan story, I’ll have to step up. 

 

I’m sorry your son was killed.  I don’t know if what Canada is doing in Afghanistan is righteous or not, but your son did his duty.  For that and because I am able to write this, in a free country, I thank you as well.