Monthly Archives: March 2003

Our Prime Minister, Jean Chretien, stood up in the House of Commons today and said that Canada would not participate in a war against Iraq unless it was under a new UN resolution.  Since I can only speak for myself, I wish to apologize to the rest of the world, especially the US, for this.  Canada has a moral, ethical and political right to side with our largest ally.  Even if our armed forces couldn’t defend a small park, we should be there in some capacity, on side with the US.

One of the reasons the PM came down with this out-of-left field utterance, is that he is a blithering idiot surrounded by the head-injured and terminal sufferers of that terrible disease, Self-Importance.  There was no preliminary discussion about the Canadian role in the Gulf, aside from let diplomacy work first.  Pow, out of the clear sunny day, we’re not going to step up.

The second reason, I am surmising here, is that he is going to retire sometime in February of 04.  The leadership contest to take over the Liberal party (and the top job) is underway now, with Paul Martin, Sheila Copps and John (Beaker) Manley running for the big chair.  When Chretien stood up in the house an announced our non-involvement, it became policy of the Government.  All three, Martin, Copps and Manley, are sitting Government Members.  They are now effectively gagged by Government Solidarity on speaking out, in any way, for anything dealing with a pro-US stance on Iraq.

Chretien threw a hook shot as a lame duck PM to smack down dissent.  It is a sign of a bitter, vicious old political hack to pull that kind of mean bullshit.  But it is what he did.  I’m sorry.

I have mentioned some of the anti-war celebrities before, Garofalo, Sheen etc., and even complimented them on the soundness of their position.  I might not agree, but I do compliment them on being rational about it and in a democracy everyone has the right to spout off, including me.

There are a few web sites that are now popping up decrying celebrity punditry, generally badmouthing these folks for sounding off, as well well as pissing all over France or some other country for not being onside in the Gulf thang.  Please remember that vigorous dissent of the government position is a keystone of democracy.  People with a different opinion are allowed to have their say as long as they want to, no matter how wrong-headed it might be.

If you strongly disagree with the celebrity anti-war position, you have the choice not to watch, buy or attend anything that these celebrities are involved in.  This is your right too.  I have no opinion here, except to say that people are allowed to speak out against something, just as you are allowed to not buy something.  It comes down to choices.

The people we should be caring about, wasting brain cycles on, or generally fretting over, are the various military people in the Gulf.  Canada has a couple of our ships over there, with two more on the way and I’m fairly certain that some of the Princess Patricia Canadian Light Infantry with specialized skills are doing their thing in Kuwait with the US.  The US, of course, as this is their show, have somewhere around a half-million troops overseas.  A good percentage are weekend warriors, national guard, Reserve troops, or in Canadian-speak, militia.

These are ordinary people who signed up for two weeks a year and one weekend a month of service.  They have given up their homes, jobs, families, beds and remote controls to the TV in exchange for a smelly uniform, sand in their food and endless hours of boredom while waiting to go to war.

Yes, some signed up just for the medical benefits and were quite astonished when their units were called up for a long-term posting in the sandbox.  Yes, there were many tears shed when they left, but they still did their duty and are doing what they do. 

We’re in a fairly soft position here, plinking away on our computers, sleeping in our own beds and carrying on a basically normal life.  At the end of the day, we go home, having had a ‘cutthroat day’ of whatever we work at. 

Soldiers, on the other hand, have a job description that concludes with “By the way, you might get your whole body blown to bits by an enemy shell, that doesn’t leave a whole lot for your family to bury.  We might find the chin strap to your helmet and an eyebrow, but we’ll send that home, at our expense.  And a medal.  Sign here…”  This is not the cuddliest job description I’ve ever read. 

Anyone who signed on that dotted line, deserves our support even if you don’t agree with the reasons for the war.  Getting bitter and twisted about various famous people is perhaps not the best use of mental resources. 

If you want something to worry about, dedicate brain power to Gravity. If that stops working we’re all in a world of hurt.

In the current diplomatic haze that surrounds the Iraq Follies, France is not onside, that much is clear.  Some American congressfolks have demanded changes to the Congressional Cafeteria to list “Freedom” fries, and “Freedom” toast rather than French fries and French toast in response to France’s intractability on the international front.

The deal with France goes back centuries.  Britain and France have never really liked each other and this slopped into the American Revolutionary War; France siding with the Republicans, simply because it would piss off Britain. 

I don’t mean to suggest that France marches to the beat of a different drummer at all times, but if you look, historically, it certainly seems that way.  They don’t play well with the European Economic Community standards, unless it is in their interests.  They don’t play well with International Trade, unless it is in their interests.  They don’t even play well with the usual rules of Industrial Activity, having been nailed more than once for industrial espionage offshore.

Internally, Marselleians hate the Provençale, The Provençale hate the Brittany, The Brittany hate the Lyonnais, and everyone hates the Parisians, who hate everyone else in France, while everyone hates the Government, as the Government treats all citizens with barely constrained disgust that is only reserved for Union members.  Some days it seems that the only thing that France agrees on is sex and food.

As noted earlier, France is not keen on an Iraq invasion, simply because the US will find all kinds of “Made in France” labels on stuff used to produce weapons, fertilizer, chemicals and infrastructure.  This will cause some deep embarrassment in France, which will then begin the finger-pointing internally as to who violated the UN sanctions.  This cuts into the time for eating and copulating, with the attendant going to inquiries, filing briefs, sitting in meetings and discussing the ‘situation’.

We really don’t have to worry about France.  Ignore them and let them self-destruct internally, as this is their natural state of uproar and upset.  France’s opinion internationally, has as much impact as that of Absurdistan or Upper Revolta, as the rest of the diplomatic community gets down to work. 

The French role in this is to bring up tangential issues and to whine that they are being ignored.  Remember that they couldn’t organize a good bowel movement without a six-year discussion, so by the time we’ve come and gone in Iraq the French will still be having an argument about the type of paper being used to write a grumpy note to the UN.

Call’em Freedom Fries, or Freedom Toast and it doesn’t amount to anything. France is France and it marches to a special beat that only it can hear.

The kids have drawn a line in the sand with regards to Saddam O’Hussein.  March 17th, they’ll kick his ass.  Thank God that most of the American Army are not Irish, as they’d be up to their eyes in Guinness at 0400.  Not that a Drunk Irishman is ever too drunk to fight, but you know, airplanes, tanks, guns, drunken Irishmen…. sounds like a recipe for fratricide if I ever heard one.

(Insert Apology to All Irish People Here)

The Americans are being generous about it too.  There are reports that they will drop leaflets on March 16th over Baghdad inviting the citizens to put their heads between their knees and kiss their collective ass goodbye.  The downside of having a definitive date is losing the element of surprise.  CNN, Fox and the rest of media pack will be there to watch the show, hoping for another Peter Arnett, John Holliman play by play of the bombing.

Celebrities, meanwhile, are beating the peace drum.  Fine, they’re entitled to use their celebrity for causes they believe in and, as citizens, have the right to object.  Some are even well-informed.  Janeane Garofolo, for instance, seems well-read on the subject and understands the issue.  Good for her.  Good for Martin Sheen too, as he is a long-time peace activist and is also well-informed about the situation.  I don’t mind listening to their dissent, as it is sound, reasoned and rational.  I don’t agree, but I can appreciate their position.

What I can wait for, is bubblehead celebrities to come out against the deal.  Bubbleheads like Brittney, Anna Nicole Smith, or Jacko The Wacko, who have not clue where Iraq is, let alone the who, what and why of the issue, but they sure know a bandwagon when they see it.  Just remember after this is all done, that those who jump on the bandwagon will have albums, or shows, or movies that are asking for you to part with your hard-earned dollar to fund their careers.

If Raytheon Presents The Gulf War Brought To You By Lockheed-Martin (c) comes down on March 17th as advertised, then it becomes time to shut up and get onside and that includes celebrities.

Remember the essential concept of war:  Get in, Win, Go Home.  There’s nothing in there about wearing a Styrofoam hat with an “Erin Go Bragh” button on your battledress.

Raytheon Presents The Gulf War Brought to You By Lockheed-Martin (c) is still on a sort of hold while the UN debates the bits and pieces of Iraq disarming.  Its a sort of hold, as the US is still loading troops into the neighbourhood along with the tons of materiel needed to do what needs to be done.

At the same time, Iraq has been a little more forthcoming in running a front end loader over the Al-Samoud II missiles that are in direct breach of the 1991 UN deal, which is a good thing.  Trashing the tools of war is always a good step in convincing others that you are at least giving lip service to the rules.  Is Iraq going slow?  Of course they are.  If you think that Saddam Hussein woke up one day last week and figured out he was in big trouble, then I need the same medicine you take.  That punk knows the score and he saw that he was essentially out-gunned, out-manned and out-technologized by the US.  OK, we’ll run the lawn tractor over the really big ones that we wanted to lob at Israel.

Today, the UN is being blocked by France and Russia at the Security Council.  The reasons for this are two-fold.  One, nobody wants war.  A proper altruistic reason to vote against a UN action. 

The second is a little more sinister.  It is widely, but quietly, reported that much of the rebuilt infrastructure in Iraq for poison gas, military gear and other support services have “Made in France” “Made in Germany” and “Made in Russia” stamped on the hardware.  There was a worldwide embargo on shipping this kind of stuff to Iraq since Version 1.0 of the Gulf War.  Many companies gave that one a wink and a nod while billing millions of dollars, usually paid promptly, by the Government of Iraq for the bits and pieces sold to Saddam.

If the US does take over the sandbox, it would be, shall we say, discomforting, for it to be made widely known that many of the United States’ friends were saying Saddam was a bad guy, while selling him fertilizer plants, oil production tools and technology to support all of the destroyed infrastructure from Version 1.0.

This is not as contradictory as it seems.  Certain countries have an uncanny ability to speak out of three sides of their mouth at once.  At the multinational level, morality and ethics are sometimes just words that show up in the Oxford Unabridged Dictionary and have nothing to do with corporate performance. 

One classic example should suffice.  During the Falklands War, the Argentinians fired off a bunch of Exocet anti-ship missiles at the British Navy, sinking a major battleship and killing hundreds of sailors.  The Exocets were sold by France to Argentina.  But Britain and France are UN members and generally, good buddies.  Except there were dollars on the table and France went for the deal.  In a perfect world, France, Germany, Russia and the US would sell arms to both sides in a regional conflict, then offer to rebuild the rubble of the winner and loser. 

Oh, you’re concerned about the thousands killed, maimed and emotionally ravaged by those actions?  I’m sorry, that’s not our responsibility….